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Chapter Fifty Nine:
Tara stared at Dr. Brad, a look of shock on her face. Her head was spinning. Before she could gather her thoughts and speak, Dr. Brad said "Tara, I know it sounds like a lot. But six to eight weeks in a halo with full time protraction would be so beneficial for you. I think it would shave up to four months off your total treatment time. Maybe even six. In addition, and I will defer to Dr. Morales for an official diagnosis, I think it would be very beneficial for your cervical instability and posture. I know it would provide much more correction than part time wear of your CTO. Much more. Is it something you would consider?"
Before speaking, Tara cut her eyes towards Alex. While Alex was smiling at her, there was a look of sympathy on her face. Alex said "Tara, I will be by your side to help. The time will fly by. I will make sure of it." Tara saw Alex turn to look at Jim. Tara followed her gaze.
Tara saw that Jim was looking right at her, a look of concern on his face. He reached over and took Tara's hand as he said "I will be too baby. If you want to do this, I will completely support you. I will take care of you." Jim looked at Dr. Brad and asked "is there not another way though?"
Dr. Brad turned his head from Tara to Jim and replied "absolutely, Tara can just continue to wear her CTO brace for 14 to 16 hours per day for the next two and a half years. We will be able to get a satisfactory treatment result that way. But a halo would be more efficient. It would provide faster results. And more importantly, I believe it would provide an even more effective final treatment outcome. I understand it is frightening. But it isn't as bad as you might expect. You may not know it, but my wife Megan is in a halo currently. I will admit that the first few days were a challenge for her. But any type of change usually is. But since then, she has completely adapted to it. If you would like to speak with her about her experience, I would be eager for you to do so. In addition, Dr. Morales herself will be going into a halo brace in a few weeks. And her receptionist is having her installation this week. She may already be wearing one. So, you would at least have a support group who understands what it is like." He turned his eyes towards Tara and asked "what are your thoughts? It really would be beneficial."
For the first time Tara spoke. She asked "can I think about it?"
Dr. Brad said "absolutely. How about this? You finalize all of the arrangements for the procedure on your knee. Once you have the date, call and let Becky know. We will schedule your installation appointment a few days after your surgery and an appointment two weeks before that to install spacers. If you decide on the halo, I can arrange for Dr. Morales to perform the installation here so you don't have to go to two offices. If you decide against the halo, we will simply install your new appliance that day. However Tara, I recommend the halo. In the end, I know it will be worth it. But you don't have to make your decision today. For now just continue to wear your appliances as you have been. You have been doing great and I know you will continue to do so. I will walk with you up front and explain to Becky what the plan is. Any questions?"
A thousand questions were running through Tara's head. So many that she didn't even know where to start. She looked at Dr. Brad and asked only "is it really ok if I speak with your wife about her treatment experience?"
Dr. Brad looked at her and responded "absolutely. I know Megan would be more than happy to talk to you about her halo. And about your halo."
That evening, Tara sat stiffly beside Jim on their couch. Both were wearing their CTO braces. Jim had noticed how quiet and withdrawn Tara had been that evening. He understood why and wanted to give her space. But he also wanted her to know how much he cared for her. He had his arm wrapped around her when he said "I love you so much."
She snuggled closer to him and said "I love you too." She went silent again. While there was a movie on the screen, Jim had noticed that Tara had been ignoring it, lost in her thoughts.
He said "if you want to talk about it baby, we can. If you don't, I understand that too."
Tara asked "did you mean it when you said you would take care of me?"
Jim squeezed her tight and said "yes, of course. And not just when it comes to a halo brace."
Tara said "it is so scary. The thought of having a cage bolted to my head."
Jim replied "it would just be temporary."
Tara asked bluntly "do you want me to do it?"
Jim responded "I just want what is best for you baby. This is your decision. But I do trust Dr. Brad. I mean, I wouldn't be doing this myself if I didn't. But I will not tell you whether to do it or not. But if he says it is the best treatment, I do think you should at least consider it."
Tara said "I have been. I know I probably should. I am just scared." She went silent a moment before continuing "I am scared of how much it will hurt. But most of all I am scared of what you will think."
Jim removed his arm from Tara and physically turned her so they were facing each other. He made eye contact with her and said "it is simple what I will think. I will love you. If you get the halo, I will love you more than anything in the world. Just like I love you now without it. Nothing in this world makes me happier than you. It also makes me so happy when I feel like I can take care of you. Let me take care of you. Please."
Tara closed her eyes and exhaled. She opened her eyes and protested "I need to talk with Beverly. To see what she thinks."
Jim said "I know she will support you. Baby, you have a whole ring of people that care for you. None as much as me, but they care deeply. Beverly is one of them. Alex is too. And they understand."
Tara looked at him and asked "I should do it shouldn't I?"
Again he said "I am not going to tell you one way or the other. But you are the smartest person I have ever met. You know what you should do."
Again Tara closed her eyes, the image of her in a halo brace in her mind. It was terrifying. Despite this, she opened her eyes and looked at Jim. Quietly she said "ok, I will do it."
Jim hugged her. He said "I am proud of you baby." Letting go of her, he asked "how about we go to bed?"
Tara replied "it is only 9 sweetie. There is no way I can go to sleep this early."
Jim raised one eyebrow and grinned. Tara still didn't understand it, but seeing the clear brackets on his top teeth turned her on and made her momentarily forget about her appointment. She forgot about halo braces. Her only thought was the sexy man beside her. He said "I said go to bed, not go to sleep."
For the first time since her appointment, Tara smiled. She looked at him and said "oh don't throw me in the briar patch Mr. Fox."
As she lay in bed afterwards, the warmth of Jim's body beside her, she wondered why that night had been so intense. And she wondered if they would be able to have such nights if she was bolted into a halo brace. She reached over blindly and took his hand. She realized he must have been having similar thoughts as her when he replied "baby, I promise you it will be ok." He rolled her stiffly and gently placed his arm on her. He said "I will not let a silly little brace ruin what we have."
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