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« Last post by napacaster on 17. May 2024, 18:05:10 PM »
Ch. 112 - A Decision Made
On the way to brunch, conversation was casual; no mention was made of what I'm thinking of doing. Once we arrived at The Egg Basket, Joel dropped us off and told me to call him when we were ready to be picked up. All of us in our various orthodontic and orthopedic braces made our way inside, and we got the large table in the back room. Emme, Kathy, and Lydia could walk without crutches, and they helped the rest of us get our food.
Once we were all enjoying our meal, Kathy said, "So Leigh, you really want to do this?" I replied, "Yes, I do, and I think my mind is already made up; however, I want to hear what everyone thinks. It would be a dream come true for me. I have always wanted to be a crippled girl. However, I love and respect all of you; I value your thoughts and opinions, and I want to talk it over to be sure I'm not making a mistake."
Emme - "If this is what you really want, Leigh, and it's been your dream, you should do it. If you ever change your mind, you should be able to build up your muscles again. I want you to be happy and enjoy life the way you see fit, just like you have helped me to do. I love wearing my Milwaukee brace and bands on my crooked teeth. I can't see myself ever being without them at this point, and I think I might want to start wearing leg braces, too."
Rebekah - "Emme is right, Leigh; make your dream come true. I think we are all behind you; I know I am. This is something I'm considering, too. I wish there were some way to temporarily experience paralysis, but still have feeling in my legs. Isn't that the way it is for you, Collene? You still have feeling in your legs."
Collene - "That's right, Rebekah. I cannot move my legs and feet, but I have full feeling in them. My condition only affected motor nerves, not sensory ones. That's one reason I can wear the shoes I can with my new KAFOs; I can tell if I have good footing when I walk."
"As to what Leigh wants to do, it's exactly what Judy did. She wore my old braces all the time and never exercised her legs, and they slowly lost muscle mass and strength. I never minded her wearing my old braces, but I was strongly against Judy letting her legs go at first. As time went on and Judy's legs got weaker, she became emotionally stronger and much happier. Judy was finally living in the body she was meant to have. At that point, I gave her my full support and apologized for condemning her in the beginning. I don't have a lot of memories of being able-bodied, so Judy, tell Leigh what it was like for you to become dependent on your KAFOs as an adult."
Judy - "Well, as you all know, I started wearing Collie's old braces once we moved back to the States. When I started college, I decided I wanted to become as handicapped as possible without an actual injury. I began to wear my leg braces all the time, including when I slept. I tried to never move my legs on their own and didn't do any exercises like I had done in the past or what Rebekah does now."
"Collie tried to talk me out of doing it, but my mind was made up. I had to tighten the straps on my KAFOs more and more as my legs wasted away over time. Finally, I couldn't stand on my own anymore, even with crutches, and my dream had become reality—I was fully dependent on my leg braces and my Milwaukee brace to support my weak spine. I was as handicapped as Collie now and the happiest I have ever been in my entire life, finally living in the body I was meant to have."
"Collie realized how much better I felt about myself and my body, and now she fully supports my decision. For you, Leigh, achieving your goal will be easier than it was for me. You have people like Joel to put you in very immobilizing casts and Rita and Gary to custom-make braces for you. I fully support any decision you make; I am here for you at any time."
Rita - "Well, I certainly can't say anything negative, being a pretender who has muscle weakness now, too. For the last few years, I have been unable to stand or walk without my KAFOs. My back has also become weak from wearing the very immobilizing back braces that I made for myself. I never planned or wanted this, but I have accepted and embraced it. I only started to wear KAFOs to make clients feel more at ease. Then, when I saw how much fun you girls were having wearing your Milwaukee braces, I just had to start wearing one myself, so I made myself the spinal braces I currently wear."
"I justified wearing my braces as being comforting for clients; I thought seeing me work in my braces would be inspiring. Then I realized I have a desire or fetish for wearing braces. However, I have no feelings for other people wearing braces. I only have sensual feelings about braces if I am the one wearing them, so my feelings don't interfere with my work. Even when Gary wears a brace or cast, it doesn't excite me, but it does him, and that brings me pleasure. As to my orthodontic braces, those were only to please Gary; women wearing orthodontic braces have always been a big turn-on for him. However, after getting braces, I instantly fell in love with my metal smile and headgear."
"I fully support any decision Leigh makes. I like to see people happy, and that is the greatest thing about my job—bringing happiness to people. To see the joy when someone walks for the first time after a severe injury or when years of pain are relieved by a brace is such an emotional experience for me. Gary and I will do anything we can to help you, Leigh, and I will make you some lightweight leg braces to wear in bed and around the house. I'll get right on it Monday morning, and they will be done by evening."
Lydia - "You have my full support, Leigh, and I wish you well in this phase of your life. You have made Kathy and me so happy with everything you have done for us. Since she got her mouthful of orthodontics, Kathy is so much happier and more upbeat. Things that used to upset her or get her down don't anymore, and I hope that she starts wearing KAFOs and a back brace after she retires. I don't want to do what you plan to do; however, I do want to have both leg and back braces made to wear on weekends or vacations. I know it would bring great pleasure to Kathy to see me in braces. I fully support you, Leigh, and it sounds to me like your decision has already been made, and it's the right decision."
Kathy - "I'm looking forward to wearing KAFOs after I retire and maybe a spinal brace, too. Seeing Leigh in the office every day, wearing her very immobilizing braces, has really inspired me. I love my orthodontic braces, appliances, and headgear, but I want more—braces on my legs and back, too."
"I know it is only a short time before you retire, Leigh, but I will make sure anything you need at the office is taken care of. I'm like Rebekah and wish there was a way to be temporarily paralyzed to see what it's like for Collene. I don't think anyone here can judge any of us except for Collene, and she is very accepting. So, Leigh, how do you plan to achieve your goal of becoming totally dependent on your leg braces?"
Leigh - "As you have all surmised, my decision has already been made. I'm going to let my legs go, as Judy says. With all your kind words and support, along with my long-standing desire, I know it's the right choice for me. As to your question, Kathy, I plan to do what Judy did and simply keep my legs immobilized as much as possible, and the braces that Rita plans to make will help a lot. I'll also use casts—probably a big one for a while, too. After that, hopefully, my goal will be achieved; instead of wearing leg braces out of desire, they will be worn out of necessity."
With the heavy discussion over, we went back to chatting and simply enjoying our time together. Soon, I called Joel, and he came and picked us up, and we went back to my place. All the girls went home except for Kathy, Lydia, and Judy. They all stayed well into the evening so we could plan the details of Kathy's upcoming adventure, which involves her being in another bicycle accident. I'll just say that what she is planning is really intense.
After Kathy and Lydia left, Joel and I escorted Judy down to her coach. She has a really great view of the creek, and Judy enjoys watching all the wildlife that comes and goes. Judy seems to be in no rush to find herself a permanent place to live; we don't mind and are planning to build her a little cottage. If she moves on, which we hope she doesn't, it will make a great guesthouse. We enjoy having Judy around; she's become like a daughter to Joel and me and was very helpful when I was in my Petrie cast. Her assistance will once again be needed in the near future, and I know she loves helping me out.
The following Monday morning, Judy drove us to work, as she had been doing when I was in my Petrie cast; it's so convenient that we work at the same place. The first day I went back to work after my cast had been removed, I was, of course, still in my wheelchair and wearing my KAFOs and Milwaukee brace. My hips had loosened up a bit, and I could bring my legs together a bit more, but using crutches was still difficult.
At work, people asked me when I would be out of my wheelchair, and I said it would be a very long time; things had not gone as planned with my hips, and I am currently unable to walk. There was much concern at first, but it quickly passed since everyone is so used to me being in a wheelchair.
When I met Judy at the van after work, I asked if we could stop by and see Rita; the braces she promised to make me were ready. Judy said that would be great; Collene wanted to talk to her about a few things. When we got to the shop, only Billy and Collene were there; Gary and Rita went to get a bite to eat before working late. Billy would explain my new braces to me and fit them on my legs.
Billy and I went to the fitting room while Judy and Collene talked, and my new braces were laid out on the table. There were two pairs, both made of a thick, dense, pink-colored foam-like material. The straps were kind of rubbery and had holes in them that fit over stainless steel pegs. It was obvious that these braces, or more like splints, were waterproof and also not designed to walk in. I picked one up, and it was amazingly light. One pair had a bend at the knee to be worn while sitting in a wheelchair, and the other pair was straight for sleeping in. They all had footplates that went all the way to my toes, with two straps that went across my feet along with the multiple straps that went up my legs.
Billy then helped me out of my wheelchair and onto the table so he could check the fit of my new braces. I laid back, and he removed my KAFOs, then applied the straight pair of braces. They were very comfortable and lightweight, and I thought I would have no trouble sleeping in them. Then he placed me in the other pair with bent knees and had me sit on the edge of the table. These were also comfortable and felt great to wear. He then put my KAFOs back on my legs and helped me back into my wheelchair.
Billy explained to me that I should continue to wear my regular KAFOs when out and about and that these braces were for use at home only. He also said they are completely waterproof and that I could wear them in the bath or shower. Judy and Collene joined Billy and I, and we talked for a little while. Rita and Collene had told Billy about my plan, and he gave me his full support. Billy picked up my braces, and we headed out the door. Collene locked up the shop but left the lights on for Gary and Rita.
Once home, Joel was curious about my new braces and how and when I was supposed to wear them. I explained everything to him and had him help me into the pair with the bent knees, and I was very comfortable wearing them. I wore these for the evening, and when it was time to shower, I simply loosened the straps a bit so I could use a cloth and wash under my braces. When I got out and dried off, Joel carried me to the bedroom and laid me on the bed.
Joel removed the braces with bent knees and completely dried my legs before massaging them; it felt heavenly. He then placed my legs in the braces that held my legs straight and tightly strapped me into them. I put my headgear back on and had Joel help me into my CTLSO for the night. He then helped me put my robe on, gently picked me up, and sat me in my wheelchair with the leg rests extended. We then went to the den to watch TV.
While watching TV, Joel reminded me that he loved me for who I am and not my braces. He also said he would love me just as much if I never wore braces or a cast again. We hugged and kissed, and I told Joel how happy he has made me and that my life with him is perfect. Joel carefully lifted me from my wheelchair and carried me to bed for a romantic evening together.