I like the feedback.  Keep it coming.

Episode 16.

Sarah moaned "oh gawddd, Dr. Parker is going to know I am a crazy person."  Peter squeezed her hand and told her "look at me, look at me Sarah.  You are NOT crazy."  Dr. Anderson continued "again Sarah, Peter is right.  You are not crazy.  I don't like to hear you say that.  Please don't.  And I don't want to get over in the weeds too much, but I did a little research on adult orthodontics before our appointment today.  I was surprised to read that 1 in 4, or 25%, of orthodontic patients today are adults.  That almost matches the percentage of people that have some type of mental health issue every year. Did you know that 1 in 5 people, 20%, suffer from some type of mental health issue every year?  If you look at the 18-25 year old demographic, it rises to 1 in 3.  33%  And if you take a look at it over a total lifetime, over 50% of people experience some type of mental health issue during their lives.  So, Sarah, you aren't crazy.  And you are far from alone.   But you know the real reason I know you aren't crazy?  You are addressing it.  To ignore it WOULD be crazy.  But you aren't.  You are treating it.  I know that is scary.  It takes a brave person to do what you do.  You are a brave person.  And you know what?  Despite Kim's recent reappearance, you ARE getting better.  Because if you weren't, I would have hated to have watched those videos.  They would have been vulgar, rude, and so threatening.  But they weren't. 

We have no cure at this time for multiple personality disorder.  Sadly, we don't know how to completely eliminate it yet.  We may never.  You know this all too well.  All we have is lifelong treatment to suppress it.  But you are doing everything you can.  Everything you are supposed to.  You are doing your part.  Now it is time for me to do my part.

Sarah, I wear glasses.  But that doesn't mean I am blind.  It just means my eyes need a little help to perform at their best.  Most people are like that.  They could use a little help from time to time.  We are going to help you.  And I collaborate with other health care providers all the time with patient's treatment.  This will be the same.  A joint effort.  Holistic health.  So, what do you say?"

With her head down Sarah resignedly answered "ok, if you think it will help.  Please though, please be discreet."  Dr. Anderson smiled back at her and promised "I will."  She looked up at Dr. Anderson and asked "but what do we do right now?  You said you have a plan?"

Dr. Anderson responded "I do.  Please hear me out.  I want you to go on a vacation for two weeks.  At a resort called VistaView.  At it's core, it is a rehabilitation and counseling center.  The counselors and therapists are as good as I have ever seen.  But it truly is like a resort.  A pool, wonderful views, tennis courts, even a spa.  But, they also do counseling.  It is nothing like the facility you were at 10 years ago.  Nothing like it at all.  VistaView is a completely voluntary center.  And it is an all female center.  Yes, there are a few male counselors and orderlies, but all the guests are women.  Did you catch that?  They are guests, not patients.  That is the way VistaView is structured.  I tried to see if I could get you a bed today, but it was too short notice.  But, they have one available starting tomorrow.  Would you agree to this?"

Sarah looked at Peter and asked "but what about the boys?  You have to work.  And how expensive will this be?"  She looked back at Dr. Anderson and said "Doctor, I can't just put my life on hold and disappear for two weeks." 

Peter stroked her arm and said "sure you can.  Dr. Anderson told me about this earlier.  I have already made arrangements.  I think I proved to you this morning I can handle the boys; fix them breakfast, get them dressed, and get them to school.   That is why I did that this morning.  I want you to do this.  But I want you to feel confident that the boys are ok.  I hope this morning did that. And I have made arrangements to work from home in the afternoons the next two weeks.  And don't worry about how expensive it is.  I already checked, and our insurance will cover most of it.  And even if it didn't, it wouldn't matter.  I would find a way to pay for it.  Because there is nothing in the world more important to me than you.  You need to do this.  For the boys.  I promise the three of us will be fine.  But more importantly, do this for you.  Please.  I got braces for you.  Will you do this for me?"

Sarah stared down at the floor.  She softly said "yes."

Dr. Anderson said "wonderful.  Thank you Sarah.  I do have a few requests of you.  Really of the two of you."  He handed over a stack of papers.   "Here is all the information on the facility.  There are a few pages there you need to sign.  Bring those with you tomorrow.  You will need to check in tomorrow between 3 and 6 pm.  It is about 45 minutes away.  While it is a resort, they do have some rules obviously.  And items they prohibit guests from bringing in.  Please, read through everything this evening.  Familiarize yourself with the facility.  And I don't want to overstep my bounds, or step on your orthodontist's toes, but whenever you are sleeping, whether it be a nap or at night, please wear your headgear.  It sounds like you are already supposed to be doing so anyway.

Sarah, this may seem horrible right now.  But I promise you it really isn't.  You are so loved and cared for.  The folks at VistaView will take the best care of you  And I know Peter will as well.  He always has.  Do you have any questions?"

Sarah said "can Peter visit me? What about the boys?  And can I leave at all?  Peter and I are shupposed to have an orthodontist appointment next week.  Dr. Parker wantsh to check my expander.  Make sure it ishn't infected.  And see if my palate hash split.  Will I have to reschedule it?"

Dr. Anderson said "Peter can visit you.  The boys can too.  Now, they do have some defined visiting hours.  And some defined quiet hours.  All of that is in there.  But they are very lenient when it comes to visitors.  They just can't stay overnight.  And you can leave.  You aren't a prisoner.

They do have defined times for that as well, but that is only so that there are no conflicts with counseling sessions or other planned activities.  So, you may have to move your appointment around, but you can certainly go to it.  As long as you have a trusted, approved escort.  Guests must have a trusted, approved escort to leave the property.  But I certainly think Peter more than qualifies as a trusted escort.  And I will certainly approve him.  So, that should not be a problem. 

Sarah, really, this is a good thing.  Think of it as a vacation.  It is the furthest thing from a mental hospital.  So, whatever you may be thinking, whatever memories you may be replaying in your head from last time, throw them out the window.

I know our time is about up.  But Peter, I do have a few questions for you.  And they may seem a little strange.  So, please don't take offense.  Neither of you take offense.  But what do you really think about Sarah's braces?  Are you embarrassed that your wife has braces?  What about her headgear?  Would you be embarrassed to be seen with her in public if she was wearing her headgear?"

Peter looked over at Dr. Anderson and made firm eye contact with him.  Despite being asked to not take offense, he realized he did.  He said "no, absolutely not.  I am not embarrassed.  I would never be embarrassed.  I love Sarah.  Every last part of her.  I love her braces.  I love her headgear.  I even love Kim, despite the fact that she did try to kill me that one time.  I love them all because they are a part of Sarah. I wish she didn't have to deal with any of it.  With the pain they cause.  But since she does, I love them.  Because they are part of her, at least temporarily. So, NO! I am not embarrassed.  And despite you telling me not to be offended, I am just a little.  That you would even suggest that I could be embarrassed by my amazing, beautiful wife.  Why do you even ask?"

Dr. Anderson looked over and replied "no reason, I was just curious.  Thank you both for your time today. I think today's session is maybe the most productive one we have ever had.  Sarah, everything is going to be fine.  And thank you for being such a wonderful patient.  And wonderful person.  Here, I will see you out."

I must say, you have made this into a very interesting story. I can't wait to see where you take us next.

This one is a little long.  So there will be double the misspellings and grammatical errors.  And this hopefully is the end of the “dark” past.  I was a little uncomfortable writing it.  But I think it is important to understand Sarah.  And Kim.

Episode 18.

The next day as they finished packing her bags, Sarah looked over at Peter and said “Thank your mother again for taking the boys to the movies and keeping them tonight.”  Peter said “she loves it.  She loves the boys.  She loves you.  But I will tell her.”  Peter had noticed that Sarah had been very quiet and withdrawn ever since she had picked them up.  Her goodbyes to them had been very emotional for her.  After they had left she had broken down and cried.  Putting on his headgear hadn’t even seemed to cheer her up.  He looked at her and asked “penny for your thoughts?”  She responded “I can’t believe this ish happening.  I am going to missh you sho much.  I am going to missh Jacob and Michael sho much.  I am sho shorry for thish.  For all of thish.  None of you should have to suffer because I am such a mess.”  Peter stopped what he was doing.  He walked over and wrapped his arms around her and said “stop that.  You have nothing to apologize for.  You are an incredible Mom.  You are an incredible wife.  You have the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met.  We owe everything to you Sarah.”  She snorted and said “whatever.  I stabbed you.”

Peter squeezed her tighter and said “no, you didn’t.  Kim did.  And it was my fault.  I should never, ever have yelled at you.  Sarah, I don’t like to talk about this.  But it is NOT your fault what happened to you.  You were just a child.  No child of God should ever experience what you did.  And if he had not died in prison, I might be in a cell myself.  I have never told you this.  But I spent many hours thinking about what I would do if your father ever got out of prison.  I know you have forgiven him.  But I have not. I don’t think I can.

And you know what?  I am grateful for Kim.  And if I ever come face to face with her again, I will thank her.  I will thank her for what she did for you.  From sparing you from so many of those memories.  So baby, never apologize for that.  You have overcome that.  You have not let what happened to you define you.  You did not let him win.  You made the two most amazing boys ever.  You did that.  And you have raised them so well.  You did that.  So, do not apologize for something you couldn’t control.  But know that when it comes to the things you could control, you have done just the best.”  He turned her towards him.  “And I love you so much.”  He reached up and gently removed her headgear and placed it on the bed.  He next gently removed her elastics and placed her facemask down beside it.  He then leaned in and kissed her.  He felt the tension in her body drain away.  After they finished the kiss, she said “we have a little time.  And ten days is going to be so long.  Do you wanna…?”  Peter smiled and said “don’t throw me in the briar patch.”  He reached up to remove his headgear strap.  Sarah reached her hand up and placed it over his, stopping him.  She said “don’t.”  He softly whispered “ok.”

Two hours later they pulled up into the registration area of the facility.  By all appearances it did look like a hotel or resort, sans valets or bellmen.  Before they got out of the SUV Peter placed his hand on Sarah’s and looked over at her.  He said “it’s going to be fine.”  She weakly smiled back at him and said “thank you.”  The clock on the wall read 4:48 as Peter rolled the two suitcases up to the reception desk.  Sarah seemed to be hiding behind him.  He smiled at the young lady and said “hello!  We are here to check in.  I am Peter Jackson.  And this is my incredible wife Sarah Jackson.  She is scheduled to stay with you the next two weeks.”  The perky young receptionist, her name tag said Lakyn, smiled and said “Mrs Jackson!  We are so delighted to have you.  And yes, I see you right here in the system.  She typed a few things in her computer than looked back up and said “Dr. Higgins will be here in just a moment.  While you wait, do you have all your paperwork? If so, could I see it please?”  Sarah held up the manilla envelope she was holding and handed it to her.  Lakyn smiled at her and said “thank you!”  As she went through the paperwork, she occasionally typed something into her computer.  As she got near the end she looked up and exclaimed “you have braces?  And headgear?  How cool.  I am getting braces next week.  They said I might need headgear too.  I am so excited!  And so scared!  Did you have spacers? I hope you didn’t. These things suck.”

Despite the nerves Sarah was feeling, she couldn’t help but be amused by the young receptionist.  And Sarah realized she herself had not spoken or opened her mouth.  She smiled at Lakyn, who was looking at her expectantly.  Sarah said “I certainly did have spacersh.  And I don’t want to one up you.  While I only have bracshes on my bottom teeth now, I do have gnarly expanders top and bottom.  And the top ish screwed into my mouth.  And it has hooks on it that I have to attach to my headgear.  And it ish the headgearest of all headgears.  It goesh on my face AND over my head.  I am such a teenage dream.  At 40 years old.”  Peter leaned in and squeezed her while she looked at Lakyn and said “she IS a dream.  My dream come true.”  Lakyn then noticed the sparkle in Peter’s mouth.  She blurted out “you have braces too!  You guys are doing it together?  How cool!”  They were interrupted by the clicking of heels and a refined voice saying “Mr. and Mrs. Jackson I assume?”

The couple turned to find a refined looking lady walking in their direction.  She was dressed in a navy blue lady’s business suit and 3” pumps, her naturally gray hair set in curls down to her shoulders, wearing tortoise shell glasses and gold jewelry that accentuated her skin tone.   Behind her was a large man dressed in white.  The lady said “welcome!  I am Dr. Susan Higgins.  I am the director of VistaView.  We are excited to have you as a guest.”  She stuck her hand out to Sarah and said “hello, Sarah Jackson I assume.”  Sarah was a little taken off guard by the sudden appearance and direct manner of Dr. Higgins.  It took her a second before she stuck her hand out and said “yesh, hello; sorry, yesh, I am Sarah Jackson.”  Dr. Higgins said “Mrs. Jackson, the pleasure is mine.”  She then turned to Peter.  He stuck his hand out before she could and said “hello, I am Peter Jackson.  I somehow tricked this beautiful woman into marrying me.”  Dr. Higgins smiled and said “nice to meet you.  And yes, you are a lucky man” as she smiled at Sarah. 

Dr. Higgins gestured to the man behind her and said “this is Jamal.”  He tipped his head towards the couple and said “hello”.  She continued “he will take your bags to your room.  Lakyn, did you go through all their paperwork?  Does everything look in order?”  Lakyn sheepishly said “not quite Dr. Higgins.  I apologize.  I got to the last page, and in the notes I saw that Mrs. Jackson has braces.  And, I, well, I got sidetracked.  I am sorry.  But everything looked good.  Again, I am sorry.”  Dr. Higgins said “that is ok Lakyn.  Please hand it to me, and I will finish it up.”  After taking the stack of paperwork she looked at Peter and Sarah and asked “would you please come with me?  I would like to go over a few things.  Then I will give you the tour, and finally show you to your suite.”

As the trio walked down the hall, Dr. Higgin’s heels clicking with each step, she said “I will be glad when that girl finally does get her braces.  That is all she has been able to talk about for two weeks.  I apologize if she talked your ear off.  Or if she asked any inappropriate questions.  I will have a talk with her and instruct her not to bother you about orthodontics.”  Sarah replied “she was wonderful!  She didn’t do anything wrong.  Pleash, I would hate to have her get in trouble on my account.  She just seemed excited.  And nervoush.  Which I totally undershtand.  And it ish just fine if she hash anymore questionsh.”  Dr. Higgins stopped at a door with her name on it and asked “are you sure?”  Sarah nodded her head up and down.  Dr. Higgins laughed and said “ok, but she really might talk your ear off about it if you let her.  Just be warned”

It took about ten minutes for Dr. Higgins to go through the paperwork and explain the policies contained on the pages.  Most of it Peter and Sarah had familiarized themselves with the night before.  When she got to the end, the section with notes on special needs/requirements she looked up at Sarah and said “so, it says you are on a soft food diet?  I assume because of your orthodontia?”  Sarah embarrassedly answered “yesh.  I am 40 hear old woman that has the diet of a toddler.  It ish sho embarrassing.”  Dr. Higgins said “nonsense.  Adult braces are nothing to be embarrassed by.  We have had a number of guests that have had them.  It seems over the last five years we get more and more.”  She looked up like she was thinking and then looked back down and said “not counting you, we currently have three other guests of our 100 that have them.  And one of our counselors, Mrs. Simpson, has them too.  And obviously Lakyn is getting them.  She has told EVERYONE about it.  It also says here you have to wear headgear 16 hours a day.  And anytime you are sleeping.  I assume you brought it with you?”  Sarah replied “yes, it is in my bag.”  Dr. Higgins said “good.  Now, we will monitor your wear time.  And we do have cameras in all the rooms, so we will know.  And if you aren’t wearing it at night, a nurse will come and see you.  Just like we do with other patients that have healthcare aids.  Like a cpap machine.  Or an orthopedic brace.  We are focused on mental health here, but we don’t want to let that interfere with any other of your healthcare needs.  So, any questions?”  Sarah looked at Peter who just shrugged.  Sarah looked back and said “no, I don’t think sho.  Not now.”  Dr. Higgins said “if you do have questions at anytime, or need anything, just ask a staff member.  Now, how about we take a little tour?”

As Dr. Higgins gave a brief tour, Sarah and Peter held hands.  When they came to the overlook Peter looked over at Sarah and said “baby, I might have to bring you back here for our anniversary.  This is gorgeous.”  Dr. Higgins laughed and said “it is a magnificent view.  It is what gave us our name, VistaView.  But at this time we don’t offer any anniversary packages.  We have one more stop, and I will show you your suite.  And introduce you to your suite mate.”  Sarah said “but I thought I would have an individual room?”  Dr. Higgins replied “you do have a private bedroom and bath.  But adjoining rooms have a common sitting area.  We don’t allow TVs in bedrooms.  But we have one in each sitting area.  You will see.  The arrangement seems to work well.  But, most guests don’t spend much time in their sitting areas.  As you saw, you have a pretty full schedule each day.  And most guests seem to prefer spending their free time outside of their rooms.  While you are only scheduled to be here two weeks, I bet you make some friends here.  And some of our guests have longer stays.  We offer lots of things to do that are more fun than TV.  But, you are free to do that in your free time if you want. Most patients just watch a little TV in the evenings after dinner, before lights out.  Now, let me show you the library, and then your suite.  You will see what I mean first hand.”

Peter was impressed by the library.  It looked quite extensive.  And he noticed one other guest there.  As Dr. Higgins softly spoke, Peter couldn’t take his eyes off the young woman who seemed oblivious to the trio.  What drew Peter’s attention wasn’t really even the young woman.  It was the matching long arm casts she had on each arm.  But, she seemed used to them; she seemed to not even notice them as she awkwardly turned the pages of the book she was reading. But what really had drawn Peter’s curiosity is that this was the second lady he had seen on the tour wearing double long arm casts.  The first had been by the pool.  Peter had noticed her, and thought how unfortunate that woman was.  But accidents happen.  But two?  In the span of five minutes.  Dr. Higgins snapped him back to reality when she said “and that is the dime tour.  Now, let’s go see your room.”

Arriving at room 107, Dr. Higgins softly knocked on the door.  She was reaching for the knob when it turned from the other side.  Standing in the doorway was a pretty if just slightly chubby redheaded woman who appeared to be in her early twenties.  But what made Peters eyes go wide was that this woman too was wearing matching long arm thumb spica casts, though her’s were hot pink, running from just under her armpits, ending at the tips of her thumbs.  Dr. Higgins said “Amelia!  Hello!  I would like you to meet your new suite mate.”  Gesturing towards Sarah she said “this is Sarah Jackson.  She will be your suite mate.  And this is her husband Peter.”  Amelia awkwardly extended her casted right arm to Sarah and said “hello!  I am Amelia!  And welcome to the funny farm.”  As Sarah gently took what she assumed was the young woman’s broken arm Dr. Higgins said “Amelia!  What have we talked about?  Don’t use that term!”  Amelia sheepishly apologized “sorry Dr. Higgins” then raised her eyebrows and smiled at Sarah.  After the exchange Sarah said “nice to meet you.  And whatever happened dear?”  Amelia said “I will tell you about it.  Later.”  Amelia then turned her attention to Peter and stuck her right arm out towards Peter.  She said “Hi, I am Amelia.”  As Peter gently took her hand he wondered about what he was seeing.  And why were all these young women wearing dual long arm casts?

Napacaster, you might like the direction this story is going to take.

Episode 19.

Standing in Sarah’s bedroom, Dr. Higgins looked at Sarah and asked “so, what do you think?”  Sarah answered “it looksh nice.  It is just…”. She went silent for a few moments.  Dr. Higgins finished her sentence with “a lot to take in?  It is.  But Sarah, I do think you will actually enjoy your time here.  And I promise you everyone here will make every effort to ensure that you do.  We ARE a resort.  Yes, we may be a little more structured than other resorts.  Have a few more rules.  And we may put a little more focus on mental health than many others.  But if you really think about it, aren’t all resorts mental health resorts?  A place to get away?  Relax?  Recharge?  We are the same, we just offer more tools to help you recharge.  So, speaking of recharging, dinner is in about 20 minutes.  Sarah, I am going to leave you to get unpacked.  An aide will be by in about 15 minutes to remind you and escort you since you are new here.  Peter, you are more than welcome to stay and join Sarah for dinner.  We always make a little extra.  Just in the future, please give us at least 24 hours notice if you want to join her for dinner.  Dinner is open for visitors.  Would you like to join us Peter?” 

He looked at Dr. Higgins and replied “of course.  And you can go ahead and mark me down for every night that she is here.  And the boys will join us several nights as well.  I will give you a heads up prior.”  Sarah put her hand on Peter’s arm and pleaded “baby, please don’t.  I will miss the boys so much.  I already do.  But I don’t want them to see their mom in a place like this.”  Peter said “sweetie, don’t say that.  This IS a resort.  And you have nothing to feel embarrassed about.  Like Dr. Higgins said, you are just recharging. Please?”  Sarah asked “can we talk about it later?”  Dr. Higgins affirmed Peter by saying “Sarah, we have lots of families that visit.  We encourage it.  It is healthy for everyone.  I can’t make you, but please consider it.”  Outnumbered, Sarah looked at Peter and said “pleash baby, let’s talk about it.  Later.  At least let me get settled in.  This ish a lot to process.”  Peter replied “ok baby.” 

Dr. Higgins said “well Peter, you know visitors aren’t allowed in guest’s rooms.  Well, outside of check in.  So, would you come with me please?  I can answer any questions you may have.”  Peter said “of course, but first I need to do one thing.”  He stepped in front of Sarah and kissed her, than wrapped her in a hug.  He whispered “remember, even when I am not here, I am still with you.”  After he released her he said “baby, why don’t you get settled and I will see you in a few minutes.”

After stepping out into the hallway and closing the door behind her, Dr. Higgins asked Peter “walk with me?”  Peter fell in beside her as she began walking.  She asked “so, what do you think?  And do you have any questions?”  Peter replied “you have a very nice facility.  It looked very nice online, but we of course had our doubts.  But it is even nicer in person than in the pictures.  The hospital that Sarah previously had to stay in was nothing like this.  She has some bad associations with that place.  So please be patient with her.  It IS a lot to come to terms with.”  Dr. Higgins responded “thank you for the kind words.  We do try very hard.  And we do care deeply about our guests.  But you are right, it is a lot to wrap one’s brain around.  And Sarah is not the first guest that has had a less than stellar experience at a previous facility.  But we do everything we can to change our guests’ perceptions of mental care facilities.  We do not want our guests to stay here any longer than necessary.  And I feel confident Sarah will not have to.  Any questions?” 

After thinking a minute, Peter said “I don’t know how to really ask this.  But what is up with all the casts?  I saw, what, fourteen or fifteen of your guests on our tour?  And three of them had dual long arm casts?  Was there an accident?  Do you have a mechanical bull you neglected to show me?  If so, Sarah is not allowed on it.”  Dr. Higgins laughed and said “no, we don’t have a mechanical bull.  But now that you mention it, we are always looking to add new, exciting activities here.”  She laughed as Peter just looked at her.  Dr. Higgins said “just a joke.  No, those patients were not injured in an accident.  I can’t go into specifics on account of confidentiality.  But we use casting as a a treatment method.”  Peter looked at her incredulously and asked “treatment method for WHAT?”  Dr. Higgins said “again, guest confidentiality.  But when you think of the horrible old mental wards of the 1960’s and 70’s, what do you think of?”  Peter thought for a second and said “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”  Dr. Higgins said “yes, and what specifically?”  Peter answered “Nurse Ratchet, shock therapy, padded rooms.”  Then Peter saw where Dr. Higgins was going with this when he said “and strait jackets.”  Dr. Higgins smiled at him and said “we want our guests to have the utmost freedom and mobility while here.  And we have found casting allows this while still meeting treatment needs.  And all guests are if not eager, at least willing, as we are a voluntary facility.  It beats the alternatives. Our guests here want to get well.  It is like having braces.  They are inconvenient and painful at times.  I know mine were.  But you put up with the short term inconvenience because of the long term benefits they offer.  Does that make sense?”  Peter said “it does.  But, would you see Sarah needing such a treatment?  I would hate that for her.”  Dr. Higgins said “based on her file, I would not see it being part of her treatment. She has no history of self harm. So I would say it is not likely. But I also have learned to never say never” and smiled at her joke.  Peter did not smile, he was imagining his wife in double long arm casts.  And how hard that would be to live with.  He felt real pity for the women he had seen, even if they all seemed surprisingly unfazed by it.

Peter had not even realized they were almost back to the lobby until they entered it.  Dr. Higgins walked Peter over to the reception desk where the perky and smiling Lakyn was still on duty.  Dr. Higgins said “Peter, here we go.  If you will excuse me, I need to go add you to our dinner list.”  She turned to Lakyn and asked “Lakyn, would you please escort Mr. Jackson to the dining room at 6?  And please, don’t pester him about braces.”  The smile on Lakyn’s face faded and she replied “yes Dr. Higgins, of course.”  Dr. Higgins said “Peter, thank you.  And would it be ok if I join you and Sarah at dinner?  I always like to try to welcome new guests.”  Peter said “of course, that is very thoughtful.”  Dr. Higgins said “excellent, then I will see you in just a few.”  She then turned and walked away. 

Once she was out of earshot, Peter smiled at Lakyn and said “Miss Lakyn, you are free to pester me as much as you want about braces.”  A huge smile broke out on her face as she asked “are you sure?”  He responded “of course.”  Earlier he had not studied her smile.  But now he took a closer look at it.  He could see she had an underbite.  Maybe not as severe as Sarah’s. But still very obvious.  And like Sarah, she had very crowded crooked teeth.  Her crowding was even more severe than his wife’s. Her two top canines stuck out very prominently, almost appearing as fangs.  He realized Lakyn and Sarah’s smiles were very similar.  He wondered if Lakyn’s treatment would be as intense as his wife’s.

Episode 20.

Lakyn took Peter's invitation and eagerly asked "so, what's it like having braces?  Did it hurt getting them?  Are you going to get top braces?  And if so, metal or ceramic?  I can't decide.  How long have you had them?  How long will you have them?"  Peter stopped her by saying "whoa nelly, I can't remember that many questions.  Pace yourself young lady."

Peter said "what is it like having braces?  It is different.  A bit of an adjustment.  Especially all the brushing.  And the food getting stuck in them.  And the first few days my lower brackets really did a number on the inside of my lips and cheeks, but I guess they toughened up because it isn't bad now.  And I do have braces on my top teeth.  Invisalign.  I am not as brave as Sarah, I choose aligners, even though our orthodontist said brackets would be more effective.  I just couldn't do it, so this was the compromise."  He leaned in and gave her a smile.  Up close Lakyn could see the aligner.  She also saw the bands on his top molars.  She asked "I couldn't even tell earlier.  My orthodontist told me I couldn't get invisalign.  It wouldn't work for me.  What are those metal bands around your back teeth for?"  Peter cringed as he said "well, that is for my headgear.  Yep, I have to wear headgear.  A 45 year old man.  But, whatever, it is only at home.  And Sarah doesn't mind".  Lakyn said "that is cool.  Is it the same type of headgear that she has to wear?  Do you two have matching headgear?"  She giggled and said "that would be so cute.  I don't know what kind of headgear they said I might have to get, just headgear.  Does it hurt?"  Peter replied "no, it is not the same as Sarah's, bless her heart.  I just have to wear cervical headgear.  I only have a strap that wraps around my neck.  It doesn't hurt.  Yes, it made my teeth feel tender the first few days.  But I wouldn't call it pain.  More than anything, it is just the fact that it is headgear.  So, what did they say your treatment would consist of?"

Lakyn said "they used a ton of really fancy jargon, some of it I didn't understand.  And I was too scared and nervous to ask.  But, I will get upper and lower braces.  They said I could get all metal.  Or metal on bottom and ceramic on top.  For the same price.  I think I am going with the ceramic, even though one of the assistants there who has braces said the metal ones are more comfortable.  And I will definitely need rubberbands they said.  They said I would probably have them on for about 2 years.  They did say I was lucky I had come in when I did.  They said since I am only 20, it would be easier than if I had waited a few years.  I have always wanted braces.  And now I am getting them.  I am SO excited!"  Peter asked, thinking of the crowding he saw in her smile, "so, you won't have to get an expander?  Or expanders plural?  The expanders are what cause Sarah the most problems.  And I hate having to turn them every day.  Not that I mind doing it for her, just that I can tell in her face that it isn't comfortable.  I wish she didn't have to have them.  But she does.  She is a trooper though."  Lakyn replied "no, they didn't mention anything about an expander.  This upcoming Monday I will get my braces and MSE installed.  But they didn't say anything about an expander."  Peter said "Lakyn, do you know what an MSE is?"  She said "no, just some orthodontic something or another."  Peter smiled at her and said "Miss Lakyn, MSE stands for Maxillary Skeletal Expander.  It is what my wife has in the roof of her mouth."  Lakyn's eyes got big.  Her smile disappeared and a bit of the color drained from her face.  Peter continued "Did they mention anything about mini-implants or TADS?"  Lakyn swallowed and said "they said something about TADS.  But again, I didn't know what they meant."  She sat there in silence for a minute.  It was apparent to Peter that he had just robbed her of the excitement she had previously been feeling.  He looked at her and said "I am sorry, I am not an ortho pro.  I just have them.  Maybe they mean something different."  Hoping to take her mind off of things, Peter looked at his watch and said "Miss Lakyn, it looks like it is time for dinner.  And I am starving.  Would you escort me?"  Lakyn gave him a forced smile and said "of course."

As they walked, Peter noticed that Lakyn's entire demeanor had changed.  She wasn't the perky, excitable, and chatty young woman she had been.  Peter said "Lakyn, whatever it is, it will be fine."  Lakyn responded "thank you.  But you now have me terrified."  Peter felt horrible.  He said "hey, if you want to, I know Sarah would be more than happy to talk to you about it.  And if you DO have to get an expander, and that is a big IF, I am sure she can give you some tips and tricks."  Entering the dining area, she said "thank you." 

They both stopped and looked around the room.  As they had run a couple of minutes late, they saw well over 100 people already there, mostly female.  There were also several men and children there, Peter assumed they were visitors.  And several other men in scrubs.  Peter assumed they were nurses or orderlies.  None of the visitors or apparent staff were in line, except for Dr. Higgins he noticed.  All of the people in line were female.  Peter guessed that they were all guests and that resident guests got to go first.  He noticed Dr. Higgins standing in line too, talking with someone.  He couldn't see who it was as she and another tall lady were blocking his view.  A handful of other women were already seated with their trays.  And a handful more wear seated at various tables, clustered around talking.  Peter thought they were probably just waiting for the line to die down some.  He also noticed more casts.  He counted eight women altogether, all that appeared to be in their twenties, wearing double long arm casts of various colors. 

He didn't see Sarah and became a little concerned.  He was scanning the food line again when he saw Dr. Higgins take a step forward.  And then he saw Sarah.  She was who Dr. Higgins was talking to Peter realized.  Peter wasn't sure what to do.  He looked at Lakyn and asked "sooo, how does this work?"

Lakyn said "registered guests get to go first.  And then family and friends; visitors.  And then staff.  And there is always a group of guests that wait until the line dies down.  Why don't you have a seat?  It is open seating.  And I will join you if you like, at least until Sarah and Dr. Higgins sit."  Peter smiled at her and said "lead the way young lady."  Lakyn choose a seat at one of the tables near the middle of the room.  There were a number of round tables in the large room, Peter guessed around 20 without counting, all surrounded by 8 chairs.  He took a seat so he could watch Sarah.  As he did, he was surprised to see her laugh.  She actually had a smile on her face.  His heart swelled a bit.  A few steps later, Sarah turned to say something to Dr. Higgins.  And Sarah saw Peter.  He gave her a big smile and a wave.  She gave him a smile back and waved.  Dr. Higgins turned and looked in his direction, then said something to Sarah.  Sarah got out of line and came over to Peter.  He stood as she approached and said "young lady, you are going to lose your place in line."  Sarah smiled and said "Dr. Higgins said she would save me my place.  She said she has a little pull at this place."  Peter was so happy to hear Sarah then give a little laugh.  Becoming serious again she said "thank you for staying."  Peter said "of course baby.  Now, get!  Dr. Higgins is almost up there to the head of the line.  Go, get you something to eat.  I will be right here waiting for you."

It took about 10 minutes, but finally everyone was seated with their food.  Lakyn joined Peter, Sarah, and Dr. Higgins at the table.  They had it to themselves.  Sarah and Dr. Higgins were already eating, as Peter had told his wife to go ahead and start.  He knew it would take her longer to eat than anyone, he wanted to give her a head start so she didn't feel as self conscious about it.  Lakyn had told the trio that she would find another seat to give them some privacy, but Sarah had asked her to please join them.  There was a dull buzz in the room, a combination of many voices and silverware clinking on plates.  As they ate, Sarah very slowly and with very small bites, Dr. Higgins initially steered the conversation. 

She said "Sarah, Robert spoke so highly of you on the phone.  And I can see why.  Do you know, he is the reason you were able to get in here so quickly?  We have a waiting list.  But he cashed in one of his favors with me.  He said he had a patient, just the loveliest young lady, that he thought could use a little rest.  And who was I to argue.  Me and Robert have known each other forever.  He is one of the smartest and most talented psychiatrists in the world.  Maybe ever.  So, when he said he had someone that needed a bed, we made it happen.  Don't tell him I told you that.  He would get mad at me.  How long have you been seeing him?"  Peter replied for her "gosh baby, what is it?  It has to be ten years now.  Maybe a little longer.  Does that sound right?"  Sarah simply nodded her head, her mouth full of mashed potatoes.  Peter continued "where does the time go?  Anyway, Dr. Anderson is wonderful.  I do stay in the doghouse though.  For ten years, he has been on me to call him Robert.  And even after 10 years I still find myself calling him Dr. Anderson.  And he always scolds me for it.  Every. Single. Time."  Dr. Higgins laughed and said "that sounds like my Robert."  Peter was looking at Dr. Higgins and realized from the expression on her face she just realized what she had said.  She quickly continued "I mean Dr. Anderson.  We have worked together for years.  It has to be over twenty."  As she had been saying this last part Peter wondered.  He knew Dr. Anderson was a widower.  And he had noticed that Dr. Higgins did not wear a wedding ring.  Peter wondered if they were maybe more than just work colleagues.  Dr. Higgins quickly changed direction.  She looked over at Peter, exaggeratingly examining his head, and said "well, it doesn't look like Lakyn talked your ears off."  She then smiled over at Lakyn and said "I am just joking."  They were interrupted by a loud clattering.  Everyone turned their attention in that direction.

It appeared a tall, skinny blond-haired woman had dropped her mostly empty tray while carrying it back up to the end of the food line, where there were tubs set in a row to leave plates and utensils once done eating.  Remnants of food; a plastic plate, bowl and cup; and silverware were scattered all over the floor.  Peter couldn't see the face of the woman as she was facing away from him.  But, as she attempted to bend over, he did notice how stiff she was.  She appeared to be immobile from her hips to her head.  She was having great difficulty reaching the items on the floor.  Two women seated nearby quickly got up and squatted down beside her helping her pick up the mess.  Peter would see a custodian from behind the food line emerge with a mop.  Dr. Higgins told the group "hold on, let me go check on Izzy."

As Peter watched he saw one of the ladies that was helping stand up holding the tray, all of the kitchenware haphazardly stacked on it.  He also watched as the lady who had dropped the tray, apparently her name was Izzy, stiffly straightened up and turned in Peter's direction.  Peter saw she appeared to be in her early to mid twenties, and despite the thick black glasses she wore was very pretty in a plain type of way.  Peter saw she was crying.  He also saw there was a silver metal ring around her neck, a white plastic piece attached to it upon which her chin rested.  He couldn't see much else as she was wearing a turtleneck, which Peter found strange since it was the summer.  He realized she was wearing some type of orthopedic brace.  He thought to himself "is that a Milwaukee brace?"  Surely not he thought, they don't use those anymore.  He watched at Dr. Higgins walked up to her.  She had a napkin in her hand.  She removed the woman's glasses and gently blotted the woman's eyes.  She placed the glasses back on Izzy's face, then wrapped her arm around her and led her over to an empty table.  Peter could see them talking for several minutes.  Finally, the two stood.  The blond woman stiffly hugged Dr. Higgins and then returned to her earlier seat.  Dr. Higgins made her way back to their table.

As Dr. Higgins sat, she said "sorry about that.  Never a dull moment.  Poor Izzy.  I don't believe in pity.  It is counterproductive.  It isn't the cards you are dealt; it is how you play them.  And pity just leads to people completely dropping out of the game.  But, if I did feel pity, poor Izzy would be at the top of the list.  She has had such a bad hand dealt to her."

Episode 21.

Peter looked over at Dr. Higgins asked “what do you mean by that?”  Dr. Higgins said “I am sorry, I can’t really discuss other guests.  But, if I were to tell you, I think it would move you.”  Peter went quiet.  Sarah however asked “what ish she wearing?  Ish that a back brace?”  Dr. Higgins simply nodded her head.  Peter said “if I didn’t know better, it looks like a Milwaukee brace.  But they don’t even use those anymore do they?”  Dr. Higgins said “I didn’t think so either.  I am an old lady, I graduated high school in 1982.  I went to school with a couple of girls that had to wear one.  But I hadn’t seen one since then.  Until Izzy, her name is Issabella but she goes by Izzy, became our guest last year.”  Peter looked on expectantly, waiting for more.  Dr. Higgins said apologetically “I’m sorry.  That is all I should say.”

It was at this time that Peter noticed that Lakyn was intently studying Sarah’s mouth as she put a dainty spoonful of mashed potatoes in her mouth.  Lakyn said “Mrs. Jackson, I don’t mean to pry.  But what is it like eating with expanders.  I just found out I might be getting one.”  Sarah finished her bite and swallowed.  She said “that is quite ok Lakyn.”  She was actually looking at Dr. Higgins when she said it.  She then turned her head towards Lakyn and said “I will be honest.  Since getting my expanders, I have had to relearn how to eat.  The first few daysh I was limited to liquids.  Nutrition drinks and smoothies were what I lived on.  It has gotten better, I can now eat soft foods.  But I have to take a lot smaller bites.  And maybe this ish not appropriate table talk, but I have kind of learned to roll the food to the back of my mouth with my tongue so I can swallow it.  Because, with the expanders, especially the screws sticking out from the top one, swallowing is so much harder.  But, I am adapting.  I haven’t starved to death.  Yet.  And oh my goodness, they are absolute magnets for food.  But, again, trying to keep my eyes on the finish line.  I don’t want to scare you.  But I am not going to lie.  Eating ish no fun anymore.”  Sarah noticed the distressed look on Lakyn’s face.  Sarah added “but, it is worth it.  And if I weren’t so old, it would be easier.  Dr. Parker told me it is exponentially harder for older patients than young ones.  And vice versa.” 

Lakyn’s face lit up and she asked “Dr. Parker?  At Fair Oaks Orthodontics?  That is who I am going to!”  Sarah smiled and said “that ISH who we go to.  Small world huh?  Despite the challenges thish has been, she seems like just the best.  The whole office doesh.  So when are you scheduled to get your braces?”  Lakyn said “Monday morning.  I guess I better enjoy the weekend huh?”  Sarah tried to reassure her by saying “Lakyn, it will be fine.  And it will be worth it.  And remember, if you want to complain, you have someone to complain to.  That totally understandsh.  Me!”  Lakyn smiled and said “thank you Mrs. Jackson.”  Sarah looked over and added “but only on one condition.  You call me Sarah.  I already feel old enough here with all you twenty somethings running around.  I feel like I should be the house mom.”

Dr. Higgins piped in “Sarah, you are far from old.  We have guests of all ages.  Now me?  I am old.  I am celebrating my 60th birthday this year.  Dear you are far from old.”  Peter replied to her “with all due respect Dr. Higgins, you are wrong.  They say 60 is the new 40.  And that isn’t old.  Because if 40 is old, then that means I am old.  And I am not ready to accept that.”  Dr. Higgins laughed and said “thank you.  Thank you.  Even if you lie, you are very smooth at it.”  She gave him a big smile to let him know she was kidding.

They all continued eating in silence for a few minutes.  Then Dr. Higgins looked over at Sarah and said “your comment makes me think of something.  Would you do a favor for me?  Would you let me introduce you to Izzy?  She is very shy and introverted.  And so self conscious.  SO self conscious.  Would you maybe talk with her some during your stay?  Maybe befriend her?  It would mean a lot to her.  And me.”  Sarah said “of course.  But she has no reason to be self conscious.  She is a very pretty girl.  So, what would be a good ice breaker?  What does she like?”

Dr. Higgins said “she is complicated.  Aw heck, I will tell you. Just so you don’t step on any land mines.  Izzy has had a tough life.  She lost both her parents in a car wreck when she was 13.  She only had one living grandparent, and she was in an assisted living facility.  None of her aunts or uncles took her in.  So, she ended up in the foster system.  She was never adopted.  She had been a good student prior to her parents’ death.  But afterwards, not as much.  She was held back twice between the ages of 13 and 16.  And she most certainly would have dropped out if she could have.  She ran away several times, but luckily she was always found quickly.  Before she could be swallowed up by… well you have surely heard horror stories about runaways being trafficked and… Anyway, she struggled in school.  And was a late bloomer to put it delicately.  She matured later than most girls.  When she was 17, in tenth grade, her back began bothering her.  She was diagnosed with scoliosis and put in a Boston brace.  But it progressed despite bracing.  By the following year, it had progressed into her cervical area.  They were going to do surgery.  But during her pre surgery work up, they found an irregular heartbeat.  Long story short, they found a genetic defect in her heart.  They said undetected and untreated it would kill her.  So, instead of having spinal surgery, she had heart surgery.  They repaired the issue and also installed a pacemaker/defibrillator in her chest.  At 18 years old.

And so what does that have to do with the brace she has to wear?  Well, because of her heart issue surgeons have all refused to perform an invasive surgery for a non-life threatening condition.  They are afraid her heart will not be able to handle the stress.  So, they won’t perform the spinal fixation surgery to install Harrington rods.  So, they did what they could to at least halt her progression.  They fit her with a Milwaukee brace.  She has been in it for 22 hours a day for 4 years, since she was 18.  Or at least she was supposed to wear it 22 hours a day.  I won’t go into too many details.  But at first she wouldn’t wear it.  She would take it off as soon as anyone turned their back.  But her doctor devised a discrete locking mechanism that is hidden by her hair so she can’t take it off herself.  As she has gotten older and more mature, she has come to terms with it.  And now realizes it is for her own good.  But it has been a process.   

She has been here over a year.  Since she turned 21 and the foster system kicked her into the street.  And even though she is 22, her growth plates still have not completely fused.  So she is stuck in that brace.  To add to that, as her spine deteriorated in high school, so did her eyesight.  She has low vision now.  And she is not a candidate to wear contacts.  So she has to wear those myodisc glasses you see.  Even with them, she can’t see 20/20.  Between the brace, the glasses, her introverted personality, and her social awkwardness; she has been diagnosed as mildly autistic; her last year of high school was hell.  People can be so cruel.  And her life after high school hasn’t been much of an improvement.  In addition to autism, she suffers from severe anxiety disorder.  Who wouldn’t after all she has gone through though?  But she is so sweet.  And smart.  She loves to swim.  Most days she spends one of the hours she is out of her brace in the pool.  And sometimes, I might even instruct the nurses to lose track of time so she gets a little extra time.  She is happy there, and if anyone deserves a little happiness it is her.  She also loves jigsaw puzzles.  I make sure we always have new ones in the game room.  For her.  She likes spending time in the garden.  And she LOVES animals.  And she just doesn’t have anyone outside of this facility that cares for her.  Cares whether she even exists.  She could always use another friend.  That is why I ask this of you.  And why I have told you all of this.  So, will you make an effort to talk with her?  Maybe spend some time with her?  It may be out of place for me to tell you all this.  And it may be out of place for me to ask this of you.  But I love Izzy.  And I try to dote on her as much as I can.  To be the mother she lost, even if it is so late.  But with so many guests I can only give her so much time.  So I am recruiting you to help me.  It is a lot to ask.  But I think you will love her too.  And I can tell you, I believe I get more out of it than Izzy does. So?”

Peter looked over at his wife.  He noticed her mouth was wide open and her eyes were moist.  Sarah replied “oh that poor girl.  Of course.  Of course I will.”

Episode 22.

After they all finished eating, Peter volunteered to take their trays up front.  Dr. Higgins looked at the table and said “this is too much for one person to carry in one trip.  Let me give you a hand.  Sarah, would you just hang out here.  I would like to bring Izzy over and introduce her to you.” As they walked up to the front balancing all the kitchenware in their hands, Dr. Higgins discreetly said to him “when we go back, I am going to get Izzy.  Would you just hang back a little?  Meeting new people is a challenge for her.  And she has a distrust of men.  So, would you just hang back in the background?  After she has seen you around some, she will be more comfortable with you.  But I don’t want to overload her right now.  Ok?”  Peter simply replied “of course”.  As they walked back to their table Dr. Higgins turned towards Izzy.  Peter kept walking.  Once back he briefly explained to Sarah what Dr. Higgins had said.  He stepped away from the table, just staying within earshot.

As Dr. Higgins approached, Izzy in tow, Sarah stood with a smile on her face.  Stopping a few feet from Sarah, Dr. Higgins said “Izzy sweetie, I want to introduce you to a new friend of mine.  This is Sarah.  She is going to be staying with us for a few weeks.  Izzy had her eyes downcast, studying the floor, but politely said “hello, nice to meet you.”  Sarah said “Izzy, it is so nice to meet you.  Izzy is such a pretty name.  And your ear rings are so cute.  I love them.”  Izzy raised her eyes up but still did not look into Sarah’s face.  She replied “thank you, Dr. Higgins got them for me.”  Sarah added “well she chose well, they are adorable on you.”  Trying to break Izzy out of her shell Sarah asked “Izzy, do you like puzzles?  I love them. When Dr. Higgins was showing me around earlier I noticed someone was working on a puzzle in the gameroom. I wonder if they have anymore?”  Even before she got the last sentence out of her mouth Sarah saw Izzy’s face light up.  She excitedly responded “that is my puzzle!  We have a lot of them.”  Dr. Higgins said “Izzy, maybe you could take Sarah to the game room?  Maybe you two could work on it until it is time to go to bed?”  As Peter looked on, he saw that Dr. Higgins was looking into Sarah’s eyes.  The question was really addressed to Sarah, not Izzy.  Nonetheless Izzy responded “would you want to?  Nobody ever wants to work on my puzzles with me.”   Sarah said “I would love to.”  A huge smile broke out on Izzy’s face. Sarah looked over at Peter.  He mouthed to her “I love you!  Go!”  Sarah said “how fun!  Would you show me the way Izzy?”  Excitedly Izzy took Sarah’s hand and said “Yes!  I know my way all around this place.”  As she was drug away, Sarah looked over her shoulder at Peter.  He blew her a kiss.  And he fought to keep a tear from forming from what he had just witnessed, over how happy Sarah had made Izzy with such a simple gesture.

Dr. Higgins slid in beside Peter and said “wow, she is a natural at this.  Maybe I should step down and let your wife run this place.”