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Author Topic: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work  (Read 24154 times)

Offline TimeandBrace

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #45 on: 13. July 2021, 04:52:51 AM »
Hehehe, Ominous..


It's great to see this continued!

Offline napacaster

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #46 on: 13. July 2021, 05:38:08 AM »
This is great! Thanks!!!!

Offline ksmooth

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #47 on: 13. July 2021, 06:48:06 AM »
Boheme, your writing is amazing!  You would be awesome to rp with

Thank you for your contributions!

Offline annasun251

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #48 on: 13. July 2021, 11:35:31 AM »
Oh, two updates within such a short time, thanks for writing and sharing!

Offline Boheme

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #49 on: 13. July 2021, 21:02:51 PM »
Oh, two updates within such a short time, thanks for writing and sharing!

Thank YOU for the kind words. I am a writer by trade, so sometimes it's hard to do for "fun" lol. I am so happy you're enjoying it.

Offline Boheme

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #50 on: 13. July 2021, 21:30:33 PM »
Part 10: Cora's treatment

Cora was sitting in the consultation room with her husband and her hands were shaking. For years she'd complained about jaw issues and for years had been told by dentist after dentist that she would only be able to fix it with braces and to see an orthodontist.

Her husband Jared was Kara's uncle and had grown quite tired of his wife's moaning and groaning. The couple had just moved back to his home town, and it had been almost ten years since he'd seen his sister (Kara's mom). They'd met for dinner last week, and Kara's mother went on and on about her daughter's job at the "top orthodontist" in town.

He was very aware that Dr. Brandt was dedicated to his work and that he never stopped unless the job was done. That the Dr. worked for the patient's "own good" and offered general dentistry and orthodontics. So, he nagged his wife into the appointment after making her listen to a sunny review from Kara's mom. So, this Saturday morning here he sat with his young wife laid in a dental chair as x-rays, molds, and pictures were done. They'd been to several consults over the years, and this was the first one that had gotten this far.

Dr. Brandt came in and smiled shaking Jared's hand and then waving to Cora as she had an impression tray in her mouth. This made them all chuckle. "Don't mind me" the jovial doctor said as he washed hands and geared up. "You know, we just love Kara. She's very sweet, and always makes the patients feel so at ease. She's almost done with her treatment, too. I'm very proud of her."

Hannah smiled removing the tray and wiping off Cora's mouth. After rinsing her out, she sat the chair up but just slightly.

Cora's stomach dropped as Dr. Brandt positioned himself to do her exam. She didn't understand why there were so many tools all laid out and why she needed so many records this first appointment. She swallowed thickly as she spoke about her jaw.

"In high school I was in a car accident and my jaw was hit. I've had pain since, and it's only getting worse. I understand that braces are really the only way, but I'm afraid I've waited way too long, and I'm so bad about brushing my teeth. Hell, when I was a teenager I never even wore my retainer after my braces came off. " Jared placed a calming hand on his wife's knee as Dr. Brandt nodded and aimed the bright light".

Dr. Brandt tapped her chin, and Cora opened, allowing a very thorough exam that seemed to last forever. "Cora, Jared, because you're family you'd be offered a 25% discount if you sign up for full compliance. This means that you get cleanings every three months, and that you only have fixed appliances."

Jared cleared his throat seeing his wife start to get nervous. He could hear in his voice that she wanted to leave.

"I don't know, d-do we have to decide today?"

Jared had finally had enough. He huffed and looked at her putting his foot down. "You agree to this today, or I take you to an oral surgeon next. You're in pain, and you're not taking care of yourself. Come on. What does treatment look like, Dr?"

Dr. Brandt gave a warm smile, and handed the contract to Jared with a wink. Jared read it over and took out his wallet as Dr. Brandt explained. He also signaled Hannah over to take his card and watch him sign the contract while his distracted wife listened.

"I would suggest to start with full metal braces top and bottom with an expander on top. We will go from there. I do not make promises about time or appliances, but I will tell you that you will be pain free when we are done, and you will love your smile. The time you wear them is completely dependent on you. For my anxious patients I start immediately to rip the band-aid off."


Should Cora have her own story, y'all?










Offline TimeandBrace

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #51 on: 13. July 2021, 22:43:53 PM »
I think it's more interesting to have the various perspectives in the one story, and to see how the characters all interact. If you think Cora would have enough to work with her own story, then go for it.~

Offline duncombec

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #52 on: 13. July 2021, 23:31:34 PM »
Great writing so far - as to whether you should split the stories, that's really up to you. Sometimes it can be easier to split the stories and keep each set of characters in one place, but sometimes additional characters add to the flavour.

Personally, I'm terrible for adding lots of side characters and then getting lost as to where I got up to with each of them, so I've taken to writing "branches of a tree" - stories that link into a common theme.

Basically, whatever works best for you as the author!

Offline kelly-Marie

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #53 on: 14. July 2021, 04:57:14 AM »
I think you should give care her own story  think it will be clearer that way

Offline napacaster

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #54 on: 14. July 2021, 06:15:36 AM »
If you are up to it, I think Cora should have her own story. Seems like a great start to what might be a long and difficult treatment.

 

Online Braceface2015

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #55 on: 15. July 2021, 14:49:12 PM »
Here is my recommendation. If Cora is going to interact with the main storyline, she should be included in the original story. If she is just a side character who doesn't matter to the main story, give her a story of her own.

Even if she does interact in a meaningful way, you may want to tell her side of it in a separate story.

I don't know what you plan to do in your story, so I can't, nor will I, tell you what to do. Duncombec is right, this is your story to tell the way that you want.

Whatever you decide, I am glad that I can read it and add it to TheArchive.

Offline annasun251

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #56 on: 17. July 2021, 12:16:09 PM »
Maybe include Coras story here? It might be easier to keep track. Thanks again for sharing your story!

Offline Boheme

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #57 on: 19. July 2021, 21:18:03 PM »
Part 11: Cora and Elise

Jared took Cora's hand in his and lovingly stroked it. "Sweetie, we're doing this treatment. You saw how nice Kara's smile is, and that took no time at all!"

Cora was embarrassed and felt like a child who was being scolded so with reluctance she nodded. "Okay, I'll do it."

A smiled and the chair was dropped back quickly with Jared never letting go of Cora's hands.

Dr. Brandt smiled and began immediately installing Cora's braces only to have the woman cry some nervously as spacers were placed between her front teeth. "Cora, I'm going to do bands on all your teeth due to your non-cooperative past. I will also put your husband in charge of your expanders. They need to be turned twice a day every day." Hearing about Jared being in charged made Cora's eyes widen and she let out a small whimper.

By the end of the appointment, her lips puffed over her new banded smile, and Jared supported Cora as he made an appointment with his niece. Cora tried to keep composure and sighed as she tried smiling at Kara. "How long have you had your braces, Kara?"

Kara's face took on a furious blush. I had braces like yours for over 5 years, and now I'm onto these. Don't worry, your treatment will go fast if you're compliant."

The words sent Cora into a fury and she cried into her husband's chest as the adjustment appointment was made.

Emotionally, Elise wasn't doing much better. She cried trying to eat soup she'd picked up on the way home, and practicing her speech almost made her physically ill. Should she take a day off to adjust?


Offline ksmooth

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #58 on: 20. July 2021, 06:42:18 AM »
Brilliant as always!  Agree with the inclusion of Cora here

Offline Boheme

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Re: Story: Team Work Makes the Dream Work
« Reply #59 on: 21. July 2021, 21:12:57 PM »
Part 12: Anything to Help

*ATTN: I am experimenting with a new format for this story. I hope you all like it.


Elise's hands worked the tear soaked tissue that sat in her hands. She took a week off of work to practice her speech and get a handle on her new appliances, but it was hard. By the end of the week she got to the point where she could speak just as good as her first adjustment, so when she went to school she was sure that she could make it to her next appointment just fine.

What had her in tears this afternoon was the realization that she would need to get a staff picture of herself the next day. There was already a gap in her front teeth on the top and bottom, showing that her expanders were indeed working. She just hated how big the gap was, and how the profile of her face was changing due to her herbst. She made a note to ask Dr. Brandt about how far her jaw was supposed to move.

Cora's first six weeks was a nightmare for her. She prided herself on looks, and was often a trophy that Jared loved to show off at work events. When she looked into the mirror or caught her reflection now, her teeth looked silver with metal. There was hardly any enamel to be seen, and her lips constantly puffed out over her banded teeth. She hated it.

Now every day she would sit on the bathroom counter after brushing as her husband gently held her chin and made the turns in her appliances. She begged him every time to let her do it, but every time he said no, and that they were going to do exactly what Dr. Brandt ordered him them to do. This was for their health, after all.

What he didn't tell her, was that he was so adamant about this treatment because he felt his wife needed to be reigned in some. She was a spoiled brat thanks to her parents; one that never had consequences, or did anything that made her uncomfortable. If he was going to spend the money to take care of her, then they were going to do it his way, and she would learn that not everything is easy. His niece Kara had to learn the same lesson, sadly.

Six weeks later, it was another Saturday and Kara was sitting at reception looking at her new elastics pattern in her phone's camera. Dr. Brandt had created a pattern that would hopefully close the open bite caused by her older appliances. She put her phone down as Cora and Jared checked in. "Hi, Uncle Jared. Aunt Cora. I hope that your first six weeks wasn't so bad."

Cora shrugged as she signed in. "I guess it could've been worse." She sat down in an empty seat, and bounced her knee nervously as she waited for her turn to be called.

In the back Elise sat playing with the hem of her shirt as Hannah removed her wires. She was nervous about speaking with Dr. Brandt about her lower jaw which seemed to pass her upper one now. When she looked up her orthodontist was aiming the light to his liking then pulled on gloves.

"Elise, Hannah said you were worried about your jaw alignment?" Elise nervously nodded as he looked making her open and close numerous times.

"It looks like I'm getting an underbite." Dr. Brandt shook his head no as he placed a retractor in her mouth.

"It just looks different is all, I promise. You'll see how nicely everything is lining up in the next few months. Hannah, I'd like to slow down her jaw movement, actually. I don't like how fast this is going, and it can make things off causing headaches again. Have those been better at all, dear?" He removes the herbst as he talks, and without warning he pulls out metal springs. This upsets her and she shakes her head no, beginning to try to get up.

Hannah pushes her back gently and strokes her cheek as she keeps her hand on Elise's shoulder. "Now Elise, this is for your own good. Can you answer the Dr? How are your headaches?"

Elise sniffed back tears and spoke as the retractor was widened. "They're better. Dr. I promise I'll be good with rubberbands."

The doctor smiled behind his mask as the springs were placed into a visibly running from her premolars on top to her back lower molars on each side. "Elise, I told you that we work complete compliance here. I will use whatever means necessary to get rid of the headaches and give you a perfect smile. Had you worn your retainer, I'd have no problem being a bit more lenient. Now, let's give those expanders an extra few turns."

Cora was lead back alone and put into the chair across from Elise. She could see that she was getting a major adjustment, and also that Elise's feet squirming at the end of the chair indicated it was uncomfortable. She gripped the arms of the cool green leather chair as covered tray was placed in front of her.

Next, Hannah reclined her chair and smiled down at her. "Cora dear, have you ever had gas? Today will be a bit intense and it will help."