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Author Topic: Story - A week to be remembered  (Read 6507 times)

Offline MagnetMouth

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Story - A week to be remembered
« on: 15. November 2020, 02:47:11 AM »
Well this has been quite a hectic past month… my name is Daniel, and i have just turned 18 years old and living in north london with my mum and stepdad. It was Friday and the last day before the Christmas holidays began, i woke up to the sound of my stepdad thudding into the house. My stepdad and i never really got on, i mean i respected the guy as he was the only one bringing funds into the house and without him mum and i would be homeless. Its not as though we live in a mansion or even just a large house, in fact we live in a small flat that we rent out cheap due to the history of murders that occurred within it, but hey in my opinion that just makes the place more interesting. My mum got married to the guy about 6 months ago after dating for a little over a year, but he was never really the type to get along with kids so we sort of just kept out of each others way and minded our own business. I climbed out of bed and made my way into the kitchen to pour myself a bowl of cereal to be greeted by my mum giving me a rib cracking hug. She announced with gusto that she was of course so very glad that it was almost the christmas holidays and that she couldn't not wait to have me all to herself. I returned the love with a little less gusto and began to eat my cereal, with her pouring herself a cup of coffee. She suddenly turned to me her eyes wide and sparkling and started apologising profusely, i was quite startled by this sudden change in behaviour and she quite clearly picked up on it, as she told me that yesterday she was supposed to let me know that she and Steve (my stepdad) had prepared a surprise for me today and that i was supposed to let my teachers know that i would need to leave early in advance! This news really made the day so much sweeter not only was it the last day of school but also i would be leaving early for a surprise! She wrote me a note and told me to hand it to the teacher that i had during the lesson at 10 past 12 and that i would need to meet Steve outside the front office where he would be waiting for me, she then handed me a contract and asked me to sign it, of course i did in an instant. Ecstatic by this elevating news i kissed my mum goodbye and raced out of the apartment to meet my (only) friend, Peter.

Peter was waiting outside his apartment when i nearly knocked into him almost knocking the science project we had been working on for months out of his hands. Oh did i forget to mention, im a massive nerd, social reject, inventer and obsessed with trying to fid a way around the 1st law of thermodynamics by creating a fusion reactor! After telling Peter about my insane luck for today during the walk to school we started theorising as to what the upcoming surprise might be. Whilst i thought it might be some sort of holiday Peter disagreed saying that its unlikely to be something that ill planned and was most definitely some sort of early Christmas present. Once we had made the trek to school Peter made me promise to meet him outside his apartment at 5 to show him the surprise and not wishing to start a second argument reluctantly, i complied. I was waiting in my tutor room for the bell to sound first period, science class my absolute favourite, when those girls came in, i think you know the ones im talking about, the ones that are always waaaay out of your league and don't even acknowledge your existence let alone talk to you… i tried to advert my attention to the book i was reading but it was quite the struggle. Thankfully i was saved of torturing myself with what could never be when the sound of the bell signalled the first period.

Offline MagnetMouth

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #1 on: 15. November 2020, 11:20:08 AM »
Part 2 coming if requested  ;)

Offline duncombec

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #2 on: 15. November 2020, 12:31:12 PM »
Oh, I think we'd quite like a second part... After all, we want to know what the surprise is!  ;D

Offline aktivator82

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #3 on: 15. November 2020, 12:41:51 PM »
Nice start of this story... and I agreed to duncombec that we want to know what the surprise is

Offline thrownaway

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #4 on: 15. November 2020, 17:29:06 PM »
Yes please!

Offline MagnetMouth

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #5 on: 15. November 2020, 20:01:34 PM »
Chapter 2
Oral Or Optical

First and second period had come and gone so fast that hours felt like minutes. The anticipation that i felt whilst waiting for the surprise was intense, it was so rare that my mum would make such a big fuss over something and i just could wait to to be going on holiday, i had very recently looked online at the local campsite and found that it would be an excellent place to stay. it was 12 oclock on the dot and i just could not stand waiting any longer, i put up my hand to be excused from the maths class when Mr O’Carol had just looked up, he sighed, bathroom again Daniel? He asked, No sir i replied, handing him my note. He responded with a shrug and allowed my to leave. Buzzing with excitement i half speedwalked half skipped towards front office where i was met by my stepdad Steve and a cold emotionless smile which was about as much as i ever got out of him. I followed behind as he led me into the back of his brand new company car and we took off in the direction of the main city…

So, i asked ecstatically, where are we going? Your mum made me promise not to tell you he replied in a gruff voice. And so there we sat for the entire half hour journey just waiting to arrive in silence, i let my mind wander as to what surprise could be in store for me but i felt sure that with the amount of hype that was being built up that it would far top being let out of school earlier! We stopped abruptly outside a small rundown shop at the end of the highstreet and walked inside, it had no name on the front door and if ill be honest looked as though i was entering some sort of drug lord den. Steve led me down some stairs to under neath the shop where there was a cheery looking receptionist standing behind a mahogany desk wearing a white lab coat Steve spoke with her for about a minute muttering something about a double appointment one optical and one oral, looking back on it it should have been quite obvious it meant bad news but at the time i just assumed it was some sort of code, the receptionist called out to me to follow her into the back room with Steve, i entered this starkly clinical looking room with an eye chart on the wall and 2 seats on either side of the room each with heavy wall mounted machinery hanging from above… is this really what the surprise was supposed to be, an eye test? I had not been for an eye test since i was 7 and cant remember much from the appointment other than reading letters off a chart, nevertheless i did as i was told and sat down as a machine blew air in my eyes, it made them quite dry and i felt an irresistible urge to rub them. The receptionist then softly asked me to look through the goggles hanging from the wall and read out the letters, i did this a couple of times as they tried out different lenses, all in all the process took about half an hour. After a bit of consulting the receptionist/optician whispered something to Steve and then took me through a door to my right into another room that was still clinical white, but this one was filled with rows of glasses, the optician briefly explained that i would need to wear glasses from now on to correct my vision, i tried to protest saying that it was a mistake and that i have never needed to wear glasses before but she then pointed out that i have not been for many years, she steered me down an isle and found a mirror for me to try some on in, she took out a pair of square golden glasses and told me to try them, i put them on sheepishly but then promply found they rather suited me, the optician however took them off before i had a chance to protest exclaiming that they ‘werent my style’ instead pulling out a pair of thick round steel rimmed glasses with 2 arches upon it, the sort that were fashionable back in the 1980s! She put them on for me and much to my disgust discovered that they made me look like a freak, i recoiled at the mere sight of them hardly daring to look at my own reflections, it might sound like a bit over dramatic but it was honestly how i felt. The optician announced that they were perfect and steered me by the shoulders towards where my stepdad was waiting, to my shock and horror he nodded his approval and went to purchase my new glasses leaving my standing there gobsmacked. The optician replaced the glass filler pannels with my more thick prescription ones and put them on my face. She explained to my stepdad that i was required by law to wear my glasses when driving and crossing roads and explained that as they are prescription glasses they need to be worn all the time…

I was just standing there trying to process what had just happened over the past 5 minutes when my stepdad took me by the hand and practically dragged me out of the room and up the stairs, we then proceeded to climb a second flight of stairs into a second waiting room with a second receptionist sitting behind her desk. She seemed to be wearing some sort of harness that was attached to a thick metal bar around the outside of her face! I shivered and tried to look away from her as she looked up and asked for my name, i quietly murmured, Daniel, and looked into her eyes in pure fear. She said that I should go in now to meet Dr Taylor whilst my stepdad stayed in the reception room. I shuffled into the room behind her and she closed the door behind me leaving me trapped in this white cell with just a desk and a patient chair in the middle of the room, it was in that moment when I truly realised that the pain was about to get worse. I climbed onto the patient chair as instructed and Dr Taylor began reclining it, she smiled sweetly and exclaimed that she liked my new glasses as she put the lip spreader in my mouth, she began to explain that i would be receiving treatment here under the instructions from my parents and that i shouldn't worry as my parents had already informed her practice of my phobia of orthodontia and that it was because of that that i would be marked as a behavioural case. She explained that it was all in the contract that i signed, rolling her eyes. It was then that i felt a small prick in the side of my arm, i went to turn my head to see what it was but as i did i began to feel this numbness spreading up the side of my body, I began to try to shout you bastards! But all that came out was this inaudible mumble of nonsense. Dr Taylor told me not to worry and that because of my status as a behavioural case that during each appointment i would need to be sedated in order to avoid injury to either myself or her i was confused at first but reluctantly agreed, less pain anyway i thought. I did however fear for what they might do to me! Would I end up with a harness too just like the receptionist or would I get worse?!? My mind was racing and due to my inability to feel i was even more startled when i realised that Dr Taylor had already started her work...

Offline cbraces522

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #6 on: 16. November 2020, 01:17:15 AM »
This is so good! Can’t wait to hear more

Offline TimeandBrace

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #7 on: 16. November 2020, 02:22:51 AM »
Great start!  ;D

Offline Tin_Grin8444

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #8 on: 16. November 2020, 08:04:48 AM »
Seems I was of some inspiration  ;D lol

Say bud, I'd think you might wanna take a look at the forum rules post. I spot a few things like the main character's age being 15, and the forceful sedation in the first and second chapters respectively, and I think there are rules regarding that type of jazz. I could be wrong, but it's worth lookin at for sure. Love the effort

Offline MagnetMouth

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #9 on: 16. November 2020, 09:21:29 AM »
Thanks Tingrin you make a very good point  ;) im new here so thanks for letting me know, ill get changing that now

Offline danfan209

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #10 on: 16. November 2020, 21:09:28 PM »
Oh what a nice surprise

Offline cbraces522

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #11 on: 18. November 2020, 08:38:42 AM »
Please continue this!

Offline aktivator82

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #12 on: 18. November 2020, 13:14:32 PM »
this is such an awesome story. hope it will be continued

Offline metalfoxy

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #13 on: 19. November 2020, 02:39:29 AM »
Definitely not the type of surprise you would want!
This is interesting and I can’t wait for more and to see his reactions once the process of getting the braces is finished and he realised his new reality

Offline MagnetMouth

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Re: Story - A week to be remembered
« Reply #14 on: 20. November 2020, 23:00:58 PM »
New Chapter out now, sorry its been a while  ;D any feed back or inspiration would be VERY much appreciated