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Offline Braceface2015

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° Something new - Writing A Story
« on: 01. April 2023, 23:56:06 PM »
m1090y's recent story got me thinking. This is the result of his comments and story idea.

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: Something new - Writing A Story
« Reply #1 on: 01. April 2023, 23:57:41 PM »
Writing A Story - His Story

By Metalmouth64




Every time I come to pick up my friend, I see the same girl sitting in the same place, writing on her tablet. I always say ‘Hi’ to her just to be friendly and she always gives me a subdued smile when she replies. She’s got a rather plain way of dressing and it’s easy to overlook her. She never seems to go out anywhere and doesn’t seem to have any close friends. The girls I go out with have the same opinion of her, that she’s smart and friendly, but nobody is interested in asking her out because of her looks.

I may be a bit biased, but I think she looks nice and has a pretty smile. She may not have the curves most of the girls at the college have, and it's hard to tell if she has any at all in the out-of-date clothes she wears, but that doesn’t stop me from watching her as she types on her tablet. Playing with my phone is an unobtrusive way of checking her out using the camera and I have a few candid pictures of her stored away. As far as I can tell, she always wears stockings and a garterbelt, and I’ve gotten a few flashes of them as she’s changed position on the couch she likes to sit on, sometimes while she’s been wearing shoes and other times when she’s kicked them off.

I can tell she is writing, not surfing the web because she doesn’t just swipe at the screen with her fingers, and she pauses to think before writing some more. I find it fascinating watching her, because she has a habit of forming words as she thinks about what to write next. Each time she does, her lips move over her teeth and they come into view briefly, and she has the most interesting set of misaligned teeth I have ever seen.

Her smile has gotten even more intriguing lately with the addition of heavy metal brackets to her teeth. I can tell she is a patient of the orthodontic clinic on campus because of the outdated brackets they are using. I've been trying to figure out how to get a better look at her teeth without seeming like a jerk, and asking her about what she is writing seems to be a relatively safe way to do it while leaving us both an easy escape route out of the conversation.

When I say ‘Hi’ to her this time, I don’t just wander away with my phone to wait, I enquire about what she is writing. She smiles at me hesitantly and I get just the smallest hint of metal. With a little bit of encouragement, she begins telling me about the story she is currently working on. It takes a while before she relaxes and I get the occasional flash of the metal on her teeth.

I’m sitting at the other end of the couch from her, close enough to see her teeth but far enough to allow her space to feel I am not intruding. She has her feet tucked up beside her and her heels catch on her skirt occasionally as she shifts position, giving me a glimpse of the lace bands at the top of her stockings. It's rather convenient that my gaze keeps getting drawn to other parts of her body because I don’t want to be caught staring at her teeth all the time.

As she tells me more about the story she is working on, I find little things in the story to enquire about to prolong the conversation. The more she tells me about it, the more interested I become in reading it for myself, so I ask if she would let me read it. When I tell her it doesn’t matter if it isn’t finished yet and I don’t mind overlooking any spelling mistakes, I get a big smile from her. She quickly covers her teeth again when she realizes I’ve seen her braces and she turns a pretty shade of pink. I hold up my phone and say she can send it to me so I can read it on my screen if she prefers. I give her my email and a link to a Google Doc arrives a few minutes later.

I thank her and sit back to start reading. She fidgets for a bit, giving me a few more glimpses of her stocking-covered legs before she slips on her shoes and says she’s going to get something to eat. I smile at her and thank her for sending me the story before she disappears.

I’m partway through reading the first chapter when I notice the scroll bar at the side gets a bit shorter. It doesn’t take long before I finish what she’s written and watch as more words appear. I’m interrupted by my friend finally coming down from her room, ready to go out.

We have a good evening, starting with a meal, followed by a little dancing and drinking. I’m excited when she tells me she has found a guy who wants to start dating her. It’s been a long time since she’s had a boyfriend and it’s about time she had someone special in her life. We grew up in the same neighbourhood and have been friends most of that time. We both agreed we didn’t want more than that from each other.



The one bad thing about my friend dating someone is I don’t get to see the girl on the couch each week. She hasn’t changed the link to the story she is working on and I check for new additions every few days. It’s nice to see a story written by a woman from a woman's point of view, not just some guy pretending to be one. She has a nice writing style and she puts in details many people would never think of adding.

She gives her character ceramic braces to fix a perceived imperfection in her smile, and then she explores the feelings of insecurity her character experiences with wearing them. I laugh at some of the things her character does to try to disguise them and draw attention away from them, all with no success. She also delves into things guys just take for granted such as shopping for clothes for a date she hopes she might get someday. Her description of what her character wears is very detailed and I have to wonder just how much of it is from experience.

I reread her story a couple of times and find things I missed the first time through, or maybe she went back and added them. Either way, her story has me coming back for more. Despite having her email address, I refrain from sending her a note about how much I am enjoying her story, not wanting to seem like a creep. That is until she writes about her character waiting for a guy she talked with to get in touch with her again.

I write a short note about how I am enjoying her story, then rewrite it several more times before I am satisfied. It sits in the drafts folder for a few days before I finally send it, and then nothing happens. At least not in real life. The next chapter in her story has a reference to how happy her character is to hear from the guy and her hesitation to reply to his email because of her insecurities and being afraid she will scare him away if she comes on too strong.

It seems as if she is giving me the opportunity to take things a little further, so I send her another brief note, commenting on her how much I enjoyed reading about her character's shopping trip and add a reference to how her character's braces are affecting her.



I get a reply to the emails I’ve sent to the girl writing the story, thanking me for the kind comments. Her comment about using her experiences to make her stories seem realistic brings a smile to my face. Even though she doesn’t mention anything about braces, I have to wonder if she is referring to them too.

There’s a small cafe just off the campus I like to stop at to relax. It’s never busy and they have a nice selection of coffees and teas to choose from. I think most of their business is selling packaged products and they just use the restaurant to test new blends on real people. I like the place because they have comfortable armchairs with convenient tables to set the drinks on.

I take a chance and send her an email describing the place, mentioning the time I am frequently there. Without actually directly saying it, I try and let her know that she can join me if she is interested.



The next few chapters are interesting and deal with ordinary everyday things in the life of a college student. Her character goes into depth about dealing with wearing braces and the way they make her feel around people. I go to the cafe every day and read the additions to the story, and keep an eye on the door, hoping to see her walk through it. Even though we haven’t talked since the day I asked to read her story, and we haven’t really been in contact through email, I still wouldn’t mind seeing her again. I still have the pictures of her on my camera and my favourite is the one of her on the couch with her legs tucked up beside her with just a hint of her braces showing. It’s unposed, yet there is an elegance to how she is sitting.



I’ve just about given up hope that she will ever show up, when the door opens and she walks in. It takes me a while to get my act together and stand, before I gesture for her to join me. Her outfit is amazing, almost as if she just came from a photo session for a fashion magazine. She makes me feel as if I am wearing the cheapest clothes possible.

I only have a few seconds before she is close enough for me to ask if I can get her anything. It takes all my willpower not to stare at her teeth as she asks for a special blend of tea. This place serves all their teas in small pots and puts the blends in little metal infusers. It takes a few minutes for them to prepare her order and I have a chance to compose myself before returning with her tea.

She looks so elegant sitting in the armchair, but that fades into the background as she sips her tea. I keep getting little flashes of her braces between sips and I can’t keep my eyes off of her mouth. Before the silence can get uncomfortable, I start talking about the parts of her story I have enjoyed the most and give her a chance to reply if she wants to. At first her replies are short, but she gradually loosens up and she begins to go into a bit more detail.

Eventually she sets her teacup aside and I get an unobstructed view of her mouth. She probably doesn’t realize it, but her braces only add to the beauty she is displaying. It takes a while for me to get up the courage to ask her about her character's braces, and her smile disappears. I take a chance and explain that I think her character shouldn’t be so worried about having her braces. Then I say, ”If your character looks half as good as you do with yours, she has nothing to worry about at all.”

Online TrainTrack

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Re: Something new - Writing A Story
« Reply #2 on: 02. April 2023, 07:03:07 AM »
Just clearing this up: I saw that the other part, her story, is by you, Braceface2015, but this one, his story, is by Metalmouth64. Was this written by two different people or did you mean to do that? Both parts are really well written, by the way.

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: Something new - Writing A Story
« Reply #3 on: 02. April 2023, 11:07:03 AM »
They are both by me. I use different pen names when I write stories for different sites. The story from his perspective was going to be much more adult-oriented, but it didn't turn out that way.

I had a nice dream a few days ago and it led to an idea for a story. m1090y's story idea was on my mind at the time and that had an effect on the direction my story went in. A third story may be written, but it won't be posted here because it will break too many of the rules.

Offline m1090y

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Re: Something new - Writing A Story
« Reply #4 on: 02. April 2023, 12:47:12 PM »
m1090y's recent story got me thinking. This is the result of his comments and story idea.
I've always thought that having someone get inspired by a story is one of the best compliments I can get.  Thank-you.

And this idea of having them interact through sharing a story is a great way to get to know each other.

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: Something new - Writing A Story - The Dream
« Reply #5 on: 03. April 2023, 07:36:31 AM »
The idea for a third story kept circulating through my mind.

I'm only going to post the first couple of paragraphs to give you a taste. The rest of it will be in TheArchive and on DeviantArt.




Writing A Story - The Dream

By Metalmouth64




It’s a typical Friday night for me. I’m stretched out on the couch in the common area of the dorm, with my tablet on my lap, working on one of my stories. And just like every other Friday since I started college, the good-looking guy walks in and says ‘Hello’ to me before leaning against the wall and pulling out his phone while he waits for his friend to finish getting ready to go out.

She’s told me they aren’t dating, she just doesn’t like to have guys asking her for a dance, and having him with her helps to keep them away. She’s also told me she thinks he is taking pictures of me while he is waiting, but she doesn’t know for sure.





END