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Author Topic: Short Stories  (Read 1909 times)

Offline Braceface2015

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Short Stories
« on: 01. September 2021, 01:30:43 AM »
I was looking for a thread that was dedicated to short stories and couldn't find one, so I am starting one. I hope that other people will contribute to this topic by adding their own stories to it.

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: Short Stories - Dreaming
« Reply #1 on: 01. September 2021, 01:34:12 AM »
I hope you enjoy this story. I got the idea for this one when I woke up from a dream. The actual dream was very short, so I added just a little bit of detail to it to make it longer and to fill in a little detail.


Dreaming

By Braceface2015



I keep hearing about all the sightings that members have of people in braces. I have to admit that I get jealous of some of them and wish that I had one to write about. Finally, I have one of my own.

I was at one of those historic towns that families like to visit when they are travelling. There were a few of us in the group that was walking around, looking at the buildings and the displays inside. In the group were an older lady, nicely dressed, and a younger girl. As we were walking around, we talked about what we were seeing and how they had rebuilt the place to look like it had been there all the time.

Our group didn't rush, just moved at a steady pace that allowed the slowest person in our group, who was on crutches, to keep up with us easily. The older lady had quite a lot of interesting things to say about the town and she told us that she had been a teacher before she retired. As she talked, I noticed that she had a few gold fillings in her teeth, something that I had only seen on a few of my older relatives.

She had a bit of an accent that I found interesting and I couldn't narrow it down to the country of origin, so I asked her where she was born. She told me that she was born in Europe and had moved overseas as a teen.

As the time got closer to noon, more and more of the staff appeared around the town, many of them dressed in costumes from the time period that the town was from. Some were dressed as farmhands, with tools for working on the grounds, others as town's people. There were a few shops that made products the way that they did when the town was built, such as the bakery and barbershop, and some that were more for show, like the saloon and dry goods store.

It wasn't as if we were a group that was travelling together, and some people drifted off and others joined us. We saw some groups that seemed to have tour guides leading them around and telling them about the various buildings. The guides were all dressed in costumes.

As we were about to go into the general store, one of the guides came up to us and asked if we would like her to accompany us for a while. She had an accent that was similar to the older lady with us. The accent just seemed to fit with the outfit she had on and made it seem more authentic, along with her hairstyle, which seemed to be real, not a wig. Everyone seemed to like the idea, so she became our guide.

She smiled a lot, though she kept her teeth covered, even when she was telling us about the history of the store and the way that the goods inside were made and transported by horse and wagon from all over the country. Her costume was well-made and fit her as if it was made for her, which it probably was. The hem of her dress was ankle-length, exposing her sturdy and stylish shoes and the rest of her dress had plenty of lace at the cuffs, around the collar, which buttoned to the base of her neck, and along both sides of the rows of buttons down the front. The whole outfit looked comfortable and durable, and very elegant in the way that a well-dressed lady from that era would want to look.

It was hard to tell what her actual age was because of her makeup. The impression was that she wasn't as old as she looked and sounded, yet still not that young, maybe late middle age, maybe retired or close to it. Certainly not a young woman. As she talked, I kept getting flashes of colour from inside her mouth, very similar to what the teacher that was part of our group had.

As we were leaving the store, she bent over and looked at the nails of the younger girl and commented about how pretty her nails looked. When the girl held out her hands for the guide to look at, the lady took them in her hands and smiled a bit wider, and I got a flash of gold and silver from her lower jaw. I saw that the gold colour was from fillings in some of her teeth. Where the silver was from I couldn't tell until she looked up and smiled at us.

It turned out that not everything that she was wearing was from the historic era. Her smile revealed that she had ceramic braces on her lower jaw, and the flash of silver had come from the archwire and metal ligatures holding it in. As I looked closer, I saw that the wire wrapped around  the bracket and was twisted to continue until it reached the next tooth, creating a fixed chain holding the lower teeth in place.

For the next while, I tried to position myself so that I had a good view of her mouth as she guided us around the town. Even though she seemed to try to keep her teeth covered, she only partially succeeded, and with me paying more attention to her mouth, I soon saw that she had ceramic brackets on her upper jaw as well, with the archwire held in with wire ligatures, though not in a chain like the bottom.

She encouraged us to ask questions if there was something that we saw that she hadn't talked about, and I asked a few questions just so that I would have her facing in my direction and I could see her mouth better.

All good things must come to an end at some point, and our tour eventually ended, but I got one last good look at her smile as she thanked us for visiting the town. It seemed as if she deliberately smiled in my direction, before winking at me and turning around to leave.

That is when I woke up in my bed and realized that it had all been a dream. I tried to get back to sleep so that I could continue dreaming, but alas, it doesn't work that way.

Offline MikeB

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Re: Short Stories
« Reply #2 on: 01. September 2021, 02:23:24 AM »
I am known (by my three readers) for epic-length stories. What would you consider a true "short" story in this context?

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: Short Stories
« Reply #3 on: 01. September 2021, 02:35:54 AM »
I think a short story should be one that can be read in no more than ten minutes. Something in the range of five pages would probably be about right.

Offline Boheme

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Re: Short Stories
« Reply #4 on: 24. September 2021, 23:38:49 PM »
Be gentle this is my first short story...

Tough Love

Carly was nervous about her orthodontist appointment today. Her dad made it for her and it was supposedly with the orthodontist he had as a kid. A Dr. Smith. Carly wasn't a kid though. She was 20 and her dad advised that if she didn't finally do orthodontic treatment that she would be cut off financially. So she sat in the outdated waiting room. It's drab with old magazines and pictures of kids in old orthodontics. There are posters that read: Compliance is the Key!

Her nerves were made worse when a girl her age walked out in headgear and neon elastics. The poor girl sobbed as the assistant with her patted her back. Carly tried to calm herself thinking about Invisalign and ceramic brackets.

When it was Carly's turn she was brought back to a room with an older chair in the middle and the door slammed and locked behind her. Hesitantly she sat as the old orthodontist pulled on gloves.

"Miss Carly.. I'm Dr. Smith. I spoke to your dad and understand that you've refused orthodontics since you were about 12. You know that's the best time right?" His voice was husky and authoritative.

Carly felt sick as she nodded. " Y-yes sir. I-i'm here now though." She's reclined and the blinding light is brought down. A tray is brought above her chest.

Dr Smith stretched her cheek and made her open and close for what seemed like forever. After pictures and impressions were taken Carly felt hopeful as the chair was raised. Her hopes however were dashed when it wasn't raised all the way and the tray wasn't moved.

Dr. Smith pulled on a mask and fresh gloves. He held up a retractor as well.

Carly swallowed hard then spoke. "I wanted to discuss Invisalign or maybe ceramic braces."

Dr Smith shook his head and asked Carly to open. As he placed the retractor his assistant moved her stool close to block Carly in.

" We don't do those dear." He works a spacer in between her front two teeth. The contract you and your father signed was for full compliance. I specialize in difficult cases you know. In the 1970s kids just did as they're told. We used tough love. You my dear are in need of some tough love. "

Carly sobbed loudly and shook her head no seeing the assistant hold up a facemask.

Dr. Smith stroked her hair then began to install her bands. "You know your dad had braces at your age too. Same problem. He didn't want to comply. He had his braces 5 years? "

Carly's sobs could be heard in the waiting room. She left the office with a facemask, double wires and full bands. She was kicking herself wishing she didn't need so much tough love.
















Offline Braceface2015

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Re: Short Stories
« Reply #5 on: 25. September 2021, 08:03:27 AM »
It's definitely a short story.

From a technical aspect, the spelling and grammar are good, and it is spaced nicely

It has a good start, middle and end, and the flow is good. When you write your next story, add a little more detail about how the character feels about getting the braces and what is involved in getting them to make it a little bit longer.

I enjoyed reading it and will add it to TheArchive if I have your permission.

Offline annasun251

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Re: Short Stories
« Reply #6 on: 25. September 2021, 10:49:38 AM »
Great idea to start a thread like this. I'm excited to see what comes!

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: Short Stories
« Reply #7 on: 25. September 2021, 13:21:40 PM »
I am hoping that other people who don't want to write long stories or who aren't confident in their ability to write will try writing something short.

I like to put lots of detail into my stories and most of my stories end up being long. Occasionally I get an idea for a short story and do a quick one.


Offline Boheme

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Re: Short Stories
« Reply #8 on: 25. September 2021, 19:37:19 PM »
It's definitely a short story.

From a technical aspect, the spelling and grammar are good, and it is spaced nicely

It has a good start, middle and end, and the flow is good. When you write your next story, add a little more detail about how the character feels about getting the braces and what is involved in getting them to make it a little bit longer.

I enjoyed reading it and will add it to TheArchive if I have your permission.


You have my permission