Hey all I wanted to give a little background on me and situation.
My braces experience as a kid included cervical headgear for almost a year. I was very young at the time so it wasn’t extremely awful, other than my older brother teasing me. I never told a soul, including best friends at the time, that I had it. Even up until now as an adult, the only people (outside of immediately family) I’ve only told my wife. I eventually had metal braces for 2 years, and got them off at about 13.
Later, as I started to mature I realized I had a “thing” for braces, which pretty much dominated what I was “attracted to”… and in a way, still does today.
Fast forward a bit into college, my girlfriend (now wife) had some issues with her permanent retainer getting broken while getting a dental cleaning. That caused some shifting. Which led to a Harley retainer for her, which she almost never wore… to get it straight again. Ortho tried to re-do the permanent retainer eventually, but even then that had some issues and caused soreness and more shifting. Eventually when we got engaged, post college, she wanted to get it fixed and the ortho gave her bottom metal braces (which she actually thought it was going to be clear)! She only had them for about 2-3 months and even got them off a tad early since she was a bridesmaid in a wedding.. (a month or two before our own). I unfortunately, lived in a different city at the time she had them, so didn’t get to see her (or the braces) as much as I wanted to. It was such dream come true really at the time. I did however, slightly spurred by her efforts, decide to get Invisalign to fix my shifting (hadn’t worm my old Hawleys in many many years). I had a good career starting, HSA money saved, and had a “desire” to do it.
Looking back, it was such a huge missed opportunity… I wish so much if I could go back, I would get braces, not aligners. At the time I was starting a career, meeting friends in a new city, and worries about what friends/family would think. But man.. looking back it was such a great time to do it. I’m mostly satisfied with the outcome of Invisalign, but feel like one side is “uneven” with a tipping canine. And I have a chipped bottom tooth that feels and looks slightly cooked. It’s like 95% good.. Great overall, I like my smile for sure.
Fast forward again.. a few years into marriage. My wife could sense things were a bit “off” (not the first time she tried having the convo), and I eventually divulged all my feelings, and had to explain about the topic. Initially didn’t go great. But now it’s been brought up a few times lightheartedly and slightly picking on me (in a good way) if we ever encounter another adult woman in public with braces, she’ll whisper “you see that”? mentioned that I must have been secretly so happy back when we were engaged when she had braces for a short while. Answer: yes I was.. She even tossed the idea of getting braces again herself.. to finally fix that stubborn bottom row that had eluded her somehow. Not that she needs it.. It would 1000% for me. And even said “one day I’ll surprise you”. But her teeth are nearly perfect. Gorgeous smile. And mine are also super straight from wearing my Essex retainers after finishing invasalign years ago. She even seemed open to the idea of face braces. Woo!
I like the idea of fakes for her… but a Hawley fake might be too much for her due to the lisping and talking.. and I assume might be less willing to wear often. Essex fakes would be easier on her, but also look a bit more fake. Maybe a downside to fakes is that her teeth would actually be “retained”. And I selfishly want them to get a bit more crooked, especially if she’s willing to get braces for me. Otherwise we’d be paying a ton of money for like a month of braces..
As for me… I really want braces too. Real ones. And I want her to have them with her.
Should I play the “long game” and not wear my Essex retainers anymore, with hope that in 5+ years I’ll actually need braces again? Seems odd… but maybe not a bad plan? I still don’t love my smile, but I do like it. That would be my ultimate fantasy doing it as a couple. But.. I’d probably be totally cool if she was the only one that got them.. In fact I’d be out of this world happy. Money is an issue.. could we afford braces for her, sure! For future children, sure! But for me… eh feels like a waste if I don’t 100% need it. I want it tho. We plan well, save money, work hard, want to save for kids college, buy a larger house, etc, etc. Can’t imagine dropping thousands on a “fantasy”. But at the same time I could..
Thoughts / opinions?
What would you do?
