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Author Topic: Jennifer  (Read 19030 times)

Offline mr_90proof

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Re: Jennifer
« Reply #120 on: 17. November 2022, 23:56:01 PM »
Chapter 54.

The commotion in chair 1 had also drawn Christy’s attention.  She quickly glanced at Jen and told her to go spit in the sink and then rushed over to Michelle.  She leaned over Michelle and quickly took the facemask off her and put it aside.  She laid her hand on Michelle’s shoulder and cooed “it’s ok, it’s ok.  You aren’t the first patient to shed a few tears in here.”  Christy shifted her attention briefly to Sandra and said “Sandy, please get her some tissues.”  She then turned her attention back to Michelle and asked “what is it?  Is something hurting you?”

Michelle composed herself somewhat and wiped her eyes.  Shakily Michelle answered “Itsh jusht show musch metal.  Oh gawd, i cah even shpeak”.  Hearing her new speech impediment caused her crying to return.  By now Sandy had returned with a handful of tissues which she handed to Christy.  Christy put her arm around Michelle from one side of the chair while Mandy embraced her in an awkward hug from the other side of the chair.  Christy gently blotted Michelle’s face as she whispered “let it out, let it out.”

After quickly spitting the nasty mouthwash into the sink, Jen was unable to avert her eyes from what was going on across the small room.  She desperately wanted to tell Michelle of her own reaction to getting braces, but she was unsure whether it was her place to interject herself in the situation.  Still unsure exactly what to do she took several steps in that direction and stopped.  Christy had seen Jen out of the corner of her eye.  She turned her head in Jen’s direction and subtly nodded her head up and down.   Jen interpreted this as permission to approach.  She came over and squatted down beside Michelle and laid her hand on Michelle’s.  By now the the crying had ceased and become a defeated sniffling.

Jen looked into Michelle’s red eyes and said “I understand.  I have not told anyone this.  Not even Mel.  But the first thing I did last Wednesday when I got in my car was bawl my eyes out.  So I understand, and you aren’t alone.  But know that every day since I had my cry it has gotten easier.  And it will for you too.”

Michelle sniffled one more time and replied “really?” 

Jen said “absolutely.  I cried my eyes out.  It IS all so much.  But you will quickly adjust.  And keep your eyes on the prize.  This is just a short term inconvenience for a lifetime of better health.”

Jen’s words seemed to calm Michelle.  She looked up at Jen and said “thanck ya show musch.  Thanck ya all show musch.  I am sho shorry.  I feel lie susch a baby.  My baby is over her comforting me when that ish my job.”

Mandy hugged her mom tighter and said “Momma, did you forget how you hugged me and told me it was going to be all right when I got my braces?  I haven’t”.

This caused another tear to form and run down Michelle’s cheek, but this was one of happiness.  She shifted in the dental chair and hugged Mandy back.  She said “thank you baby.  I love you sho musch.  I am sho proud of you.  You are by far my biggesht accomplishment in life”.

With crisis seemingly averted, Christy looked at Sandy and asked “how far along did you get on wear and care instructions?”

Sandy answered “I did not have a chance to get into care.  Dr. Cooper had literally just left.  We had just gotten to instructions on how to place and remove the facemask.  I did not have a chance to get get into care, hygiene or turning her expanders.”

Christy thought for a moment and looked over at Mandy, who was still hugging her mom.  Christy asked her “Mandy, do you feel comfortable with how to care for your braces?  How about turning your expander and facemask wear?”

Mandy loosened her grip on her mom and looked at Christy.  She was nodding her head up and down as she replied “yes, yes I do.”

Christy then asked her “would you be willing to help your mom the next few days as she learns the ropes?”

Mandy replied “absolutely, I was already planning on it.  Momma has been turning this torture device of mine every night, I figure it is time for some payback” as she giggled and gave her mom a big smile.  Jen noticed that Michelle actually cracked a smile back at her.

Christy then announced “then I think we are about done here.  I am sure Michelle is ready to go home.  Will you escort Michelle and Mandy up to Josie to make their followup appointment.  I will put together our standard care and hygiene package.  It will have instructions on everything as well as the break in schedule for your facemask.  I will put your facemask and elastics in the bag.  If you would go ahead Sandy and take them out front, I will meet you there with the care package.”

Sandy looked at Christy and innocently asked “doesn’t she need to put her facemask on before she leaves?”

This seemed to draw Christy’s ire.  She responded forcefully “No.  She absolutely does NOT need to put on her facemask before she leaves.  She will have plenty of time to get used to it over the next two weeks.  At home.  Not here, not now.  And if Dr. Cooper finds out and gets mad about it, you can tell him it was my call and he can talk to me.”

Offline bracessd

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Re: Jennifer
« Reply #121 on: 18. November 2022, 17:58:30 PM »
I'd love to be Michelle's husband!

Offline Charlie0186

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Re: Jennifer
« Reply #122 on: 19. November 2022, 18:36:59 PM »
Honest question, am I getting too bogged down in the details?

Honest answer: yes, for some readers.  But probably not for readers on this group IMHO (H for hubristic).

I'm writing a novel that's scarily similar in some respects to your story -- I promise it's parallel thought development based on my own research into orthotropics.  I was already busy with the first major structural edit of mine when I started reading your work.

I relate to your question.

I'll probably end up excising some of the more devotee-oriented aspects of my novel as it stands currently.  It makes more sense to me to rewrite them as vignettes for this forum.  They are definitely too much for everyone else to have to wade through.

I'm enjoying your writing, and appreciate your putting yourself 'out there' for us.

Offline kelly-Marie

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Re: Jennifer
« Reply #123 on: 19. November 2022, 19:41:45 PM »
I am enjoying the Jennifer  story I think its very good the level of detail is good it really fleshes out the characters for us. I admit I don't go into as much detail as you partly because I'm not as skilled at writing as you are. Charlie0186 where will your novel be published? I look forward to reading it when your ready to release it.  Thanks in advance  kelly