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Author Topic: Commenting on photos  (Read 1681 times)

Offline DemBones

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Commenting on photos
« on: 17. February 2018, 07:12:36 AM »
I have an issue, and I'm sorry for the admins for posting this here, it has nothing to do with this website, but with offsite matters.

Someone form this forum has started posting vulgar and disgusting messages on my photos, and is harassing one of my models. 

We get it, you have a fetish.  We all do.  God knows I have enough that I will never begin to understand therm all.  But you also have a brain, and you have common human decency.  At least, you should have.  Your small brain tells you to do something, and you want to jack off to a picture, that is fine.  That is your sexuality, and no one can ever call you wrong.  Again, i have created a lot of erotic images myself, but not everything that you have a fetish for, is about erotica.  Some of my braces images is about humanity, about a real struggle with self esteem and self worth.  It is not meant for you to put into a spank bank.  That is the intent, again, I cannot help it if you do not have the capacity to distinguish between what is meant to be fetishistic and erotic, and what it is to be a an underage girl battling with being bullied and trying to find her voice in a cruel and judgemental world.  That is your problem, not mine

But the moment you start going onto public forums and telling people about your masturbation, or you start harassing my models, you have crossed the line. 

Do not EVER do that again. 

You know who you are.  You have been warned.



Offline OtherNotion

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #1 on: 17. February 2018, 09:13:02 AM »
This pisses me the fuck off, I'm sorry that his has happened. I agree with you, we have a fetish, however don't have the right to involve folks who don't. We really should only engage in it with willing (read: consenting) participants, that means cutting it out with the creepy comments.

Offline 23BRT

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #2 on: 19. February 2018, 23:50:53 PM »
I've been struggling to find words to describe how angry and disappointed this makes me.
Behavior like this is intolerable.
I do not want to be associated with it. This is not why I visit this site.
I lose sleep at night worrying someone bastard is going to do shit like this.

PS - This issue goes beyond the as**ole who made the comments ...
I've got serious concerns about who and what gets linked to the image and video pages.

Offline OtherNotion

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #3 on: 20. February 2018, 02:50:32 AM »
Here here, and you know there are folks who are essentially being driven off of YouTube, flickr and Instagram because creepy, pervy folk are making creepy, pervy comments on their pictures.

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #4 on: 21. February 2018, 01:45:49 AM »
If you don't like the comments that people make on what you put on the internet, then you shouldn't be putting it out there. I tell people that once something is put out there, it is beyond your control. Before the internet became so popular, people had to share their photos and stories with their friends and family on a personal basis.

With social media like Flicker, Facebook and Instagram, it is now possible for the whole world to access it. This is both good and bad. It is good because it is possible to reach many more people. It is bad because not everyone will respect your rights and privacy. If you want to protect yourself, don't put it out there or at least set your privacy levels higher.

I do not think that telling a 13 year old that they are hot or sexy with braces is appropriate, but telling a 30 or 40 year old can be. It can still be taken the wrong way by someone that is older. Harassing someone should never be considered right. The laws relating to the internet are hard to keep up to date because the internet has changed so fast and because it is so widespread. What is legal in one country may not be in another. People need to use commonsense when they are on the internet. The internet is a public place. Don't put anything on it that you don't want other people to see or hear. Don't say or do things with the intent to offend other people. Some people will be offended no matter what you do.


Braceface2015

Offline DemBones

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #5 on: 22. February 2018, 06:30:34 AM »
Braceface, that is an absolutely crap argument.  "Because its on the internet" does not mean we cannot execute common decency. 

A pal of mine once said it beautifully about a piece of nude art when some criticised it for nudity:  get your dirty mind out of my beautiful picture.  If someone wants to go jack off to my image of a 13-year old in headgear, thats "fine", nothing I can do about.  But if you tell me and the model about it, I will get the cops on your ass so fast you'll think its on fire.  Thats child pornography. whats worse, you took an image depicting humanity, struggle and pain, and turned it into pornography, something it was never intended to be.   such a person is the lowest of the low, and telling people "if you don't want people to see it don't put it on the internet" relegates the entire world to the lowest common denominator, and that I will not stand for. 

I'd rather tell the as**ole to get the hell out of Dodge. 

Offline OtherNotion

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #6 on: 22. February 2018, 23:23:30 PM »
Agreed it being on the internet does not justify harassment, and unwelcome comments, well intentioned or not, constitute harassment. Not everyone who where's braces is a fetishest and as such they may feel uncomfortable with comments about them looking sexy in braces, it doesn't matter if they're 40, it's still creepy tombe in the recieving end of that.

Offline MikeB

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #7 on: 23. February 2018, 18:40:22 PM »
I’ve noticed on various sites that serious fetishists often have extremely poor social calibration. I don’t know if they’re fetishists because they're poorly socially calibrated, or if they’re poorly socially calibrated because they’re fetishists, but I’ve seen it over and over. Hence, I see wildly inappropriate comments among people with really strong fetishes, as if they’re unable to see that 99.999% of people don’t share their fetish. There's also often a strong undertone of social and sexual frustration among fetishists, which I think leads to some of the more desperate and filthy comments. I quit FetLife because of exactly this kind of thing.

I’ve been pretty fortunate with the non-fetish YouTube and Flickr accounts I put up for Carrie’s “braces journey.” Only one person has asked for a fetish video. His request was pretty mild, and he accepted my decline gracefully. I know that at least some people viewing her pics and vids are braces fetishists, and that doesn’t bother me in the least, as long as they’re chill about it and don’t make stupid comments.

DemBones, I’ve enjoyed your excellent work for many years. I’m sorry your model(s) had to suffer this.

Offline OtherNotion

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #8 on: 23. February 2018, 19:20:38 PM »
I left FetLife for the same reason. I don't think the sofial calibration question is a chicken or egg issue but rather a small, creepy vocal minority that generates a bulk of the comments while the rest are quite content to lay back in the cut and then couple that with a degree of sexual frustration all common sense goes out the window.

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #9 on: 24. February 2018, 02:29:34 AM »
The internet is a public place. If something is put on the internet, it is no longer in your control. Even if you post an image to what is considered a 'safe' website, it can still be copied to a 'fetish' website. Many websites do try to 'protect' their users but are usually not successful. There are options available to deal with people who are abusive or who are harassing other users. I have found that there are some users of sites like Flicker and Pinterest that think that they can use it as a 'fetish' site. If an image is posted to a site such as deviantart, it is most likely going to be considered 'fetish' and/or 'erotic'. The same image posted to Facebook or Pinterest may not, or it may violate the rules for posting. Everyone needs to be aware of what they are posting and were they are posting it to.

BracesForum is itself a 'fetish' site. We all link to material that is considered to be 'fetish' related. Many of the stories that have been written for this forum can be considered borderline 'erotic'. (I use the dictionary terms of fetish and erotic.) We have rules that all members must follow. If someone is not following the rules, they can be removed using the process put in place by the website owners. That applies to both the original poster and those that respond.

I agree that it is not right to harass other people. Not everyone has the same level of what is considered "right". While someone may consider their post to be appropriate, others will not. We are always going to have to deal with the lowest common denominator. Laws and rules are written because of them. I have seen some of what DemBones has created and I appreciate the work that has been done.


Offline OtherNotion

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #10 on: 24. February 2018, 03:56:51 AM »
It's a public space is not an excuse for shitty behavior. While the creator or poster may not have 100% control over the image as users we have a responsibility to behave respectfully.

Offline duncombec

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #11 on: 24. February 2018, 11:08:58 AM »
The Internet being a public space is often used as an excuse for poor behaviour, and it's a pretty poor get-out clause. All sorts of people put things on the Internet for all sorts of reasons, and they may not expect those with an interest in them to pick up on them.

Many people put their braces pictures/videos up for their own friends, or maybe just because they are ranting about it, and I can fully understand why they get freaked out when a whole hoarde of people (especially a lot older than they are) suddenly start commenting on a small aspect of them - their braces - which they might not like.

There are places - like here - to comment on pictures where the original poster is unlikely to find... you don't have to do it on the page it was posted.

I am also very wary of sites where the usual view count is something like 10 views per video and then they suddenly get 500 on their braces video. I try and run through a few others (even if only for 30 seconds on silent) to try and equalise the view count.

Offline simcaptain

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #12 on: 25. February 2018, 13:34:41 PM »
Yes, I'd agree, the internet ist a public place. For that reason, one should be careful what one puts out there. Period.

But is it that easy? It most certainly is not. What is posted on the internet is usually posted for a certain, well-defined reason. For example, a boy or girl wants to share her experience with her headgear or her new lipgloss or her iphone with people of their own age. Or they want to help others in the same situation. Or a proud mother or father simply want to share photos of their beach vacation with the world, including bikini shots of their beautiful children, who just happen to have braces. Or someone is an aspiring photographer and may want to show their best pictures, who happen to include people in braces. Someone might even get closer to the erotic side of things. None of these people want their pictures and videos used as fetish items - but that is exactly, what we, who are here on this forum, do. In other words, we use these pictures, videos, etc. for something they were never intended for. Like using a power drill to stir pizza dough. We abuse these materials.

BTW, I would agree to MikeB's theory about at least some fetishists and their social insecurities and sexual frustration. I'm not sure it's a hen and egg thing, but IMHO there is certainly a correlation.

I think Braceface2015 has a point in that you have no control over what you put out there once it IS out there. The first problem with that is the digital nature of what is online. Digital items can be hacked, stored, copied and reposted. So far, there is no real protection against that, especially on the more popular sites like Instagram, Flickr or Youtube. Copying some one else's copyrighted material shouldn't happen, of course. It's stealing. Yet it does happen several billion times everyday. The second problem is intention - what, in the study of literature, we call author's intent. As mentioned above, our sources or authors have an intended viewership in mind, as is their right. We are not that viewership, none of us here. To give a simple example, Vladimir Nabokov most certainly never intended Lolita to be read as "the story of my life" by anybody. Yet I would bet anything there are people on this forum who can fully associate with the feelings of Humbert Humbert. The third problem is, that not everybody realises that putting things online is like putting them in a newspaper. It is publishing. Only much more intensely so, since the audience is the world, not just a few buyers of the book. But since that audience is so anonymous, I don't think most people are aware of that, especially not all youngsters (but no age restriction there, or anywhere in what I write here).

For my part, I think abusing materials put out there in the way we do is inevitable. It's in the nature of something you publish. People have masturbated over Playboy Bunnies for as long as Playboy existed. Even the copying of digital property is, in a way, inevitable. Facts of online life, like it or not. However:

It is unacceptable to comment back to the authors in a way that is obviously offensive. In fact, I think it's unacceptable to comment in any sense that is not intended by who put the stuff out there. It is unacceptable to force your own deviant phatasies on someone else. Any of this is mental abuse. It is akin to physical abuse or even rape. Also, it is unacceptable to stalk. It is also unacceptable to copy material in to a context it is not intended for. It may be acceptable to comment that a photo gives you a hard-on on an erotic or pornography-related site, but not on, let's say, the models private / professional site or their account on a general public social media site.

BTW, I don't think clicking on the other videos in a channel to "even out the numbers" is correct. That is a form of camouflage to lurk behind while stalking. Let's at least be honest about it and look at the content that does interest us, sending a clear message. If the authors are uncomfortable with that and delete the content or stop posting similar content, then that is their choice and for us to accept.

Also, you people out there, if you do find yourself in a similar mindset to Humbert Humbert: It's okay, it's part of who you are and how nature made you. Just be fully aware that at least 99% of the general population don't feel the way you feel, including the person you're having a hard-on about. You will be respected as you are, no matter what, as long as you respect everybody else around you. Respect is a two-way road, and it is about empathy. Unless you're 100% sure the person opposite feels about your comment the same way you do, please remain silent. And since you cannot ever be 100% sure about that, please just remain silent. Full stop.

Just my two cent's worth on the subject... And yes, I am aware that by being here and using this forum, I, too, do not conform to the maxims I've set out above. In moments of sober reflection like now, that kind of ambiguity - call it bigotry if you like - is not an easy thing to life with.
--SC
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. (John Lennon, Beautiful Boy)

Offline 23BRT

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #13 on: 26. February 2018, 15:03:52 PM »
Linking to an image of a person is a comment on that person.
Linking to an image is a form of curation.
Curation is one of the most powerful comments a person can on an image.
The fact that few of us are willing to post our own faces is telling.

When someone takes a picture they wonder who is looking it. The question who is looking at me and what do they want? Is primal. It’s emotional. It can be thrilling or it can be terrifying.

From the point of view of the person in the picture what is more disturbing?
Having a dirty message posted on your social media page or being linked to a secret 'fetish' site?

I can't be a part of this.

The image and video board plays into dangerous stereotypes.
Stereotypes that do not reflect my desires and I am terrified to be associated with.

Offline pesp

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Re: Commenting on photos
« Reply #14 on: 28. February 2018, 03:05:51 AM »
Says he who just stereotyped. 
"1) fet·ish
ˈfediSH/Submit
noun
1.
a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
"Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots"
synonyms:   fixation, obsession, compulsion, mania; More
2.
an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.
synonyms:   juju, talisman, charm, amulet; "

Just guessing here but you seem to be very concerned with definition #1.

I am 64.  My parents worked full time but my aunt lived with us.  She babysat me from birth until I was three and she had braces on then.  Our neighbor's daughter took over during her orthodontic work until I was 5.  A succession of local high school girls, sisters mostly and all with braces, and headgear, until my own orthodontic misery took over.  The woman I dated the longest in college had braces for two years of that.  Went to work right out of college in a small office building with an orthodontist upstairs.  Three kids had braces with none overlapping.  Now its the grandkids.  At each and every stage of my life braces have been right there.  And I loved my babysitters, and Cheryl, and the job was great.  Braces have been a good omen. 

That puts me more under definition #2.  I notice if someone is wearing braces at any age.  Excepting when I was personally wearing all that metal, including the damned headgear (the avatar is my actual smile) I have always positively viewed braces. I
 just saw my favorite aunt Sara over christmas, my babysitter from 64 year ago and she is smiling as much as ever, even when she was wearing 1954 style braces. Oh yeah, also except for paying for three sets of braces.  People say I have a nice smile and nice teeth, and that is over 40 years after my braces.

As much as I find this site amusing, and returning to the original point of this thread, I have gotten badly burnt online by releasing too much information, including a password.  I really learned a lesson.  Internet evil is a reality and maybe everyone needs to learn a lesson.  That is not to say that idiot posters should be tolerated but they most certainly should be expected when anyone post anything anywhere.  Once it is out there, even to a trusted source, you have lost control.  Sad but very true.