ForumOnline-Shop

Author Topic: Calling all writers....  (Read 10691 times)

Offline Sparky

  • Special Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 2281
  • Gender: Male
Calling all writers....
« on: 20. May 2023, 21:58:43 PM »
So, my local amateur theatre is running a writing competition, for people to write a play no longer than 10 minutes long. So, I was wondering if that could be adapted for here: write a short story ... but how short is short? I just looked at one of my own very short stories, and it was around 2600 words.

So, the task: write a short story in 2500 words or less. It will, I am sure, include braces.

The theme (although NOT the title!) will be the same as for that 10 minute play: "Snakes and ladders". Interpret it how you like.

Offline xxxforce

  • Special Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 919
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #1 on: 21. May 2023, 00:04:44 AM »
"Brace Pride Journey"

Sarah stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, frowning at the metallic glint that adorned her teeth. Orthodontic braces. They were supposed to straighten her teeth and give her a perfect smile, but right now, they felt like a burden. She sighed, adjusting the wire on one of the brackets, then ran her tongue along the rough surface.

It had been a month since Sarah's braces were fitted, and she still hadn't gotten used to them. Her friends teased her, calling her "Metal Mouth" and "Brace Face." The jokes stung, and Sarah often found herself avoiding social situations, fearing the unkind remarks.

One afternoon, Sarah's mom suggested a trip to the local park. It was a beautiful day, with the sun shining brightly overhead. Sarah hesitated, unsure about facing the outside world with her braces on full display. But something within her pushed her to give it a try.

As they strolled through the park, Sarah noticed a group of children playing a game of Snakes and Ladders on a picnic table. Curiosity piqued, she watched as they rolled the dice and moved their tokens along the colorful board. It reminded her of her own journey with braces—a game of chance, filled with ups and downs.

Sarah's eyes fell on a girl around her age, Lily, who had the most radiant smile. It was as if her braces were just an accessory, enhancing her charm rather than detracting from it. Intrigued, Sarah mustered the courage to approach her.

"Hi, I'm Sarah," she said, smiling nervously.

Lily returned the smile, her braces shining. "Hey, Sarah! Nice to meet you. Do you want to play?"

Sarah nodded, joining the game. As they rolled the dice and moved their tokens, Sarah realized that the game mirrored her own experiences. The ladders represented the moments of progress—the adjustments that brought her closer to her desired smile. The snakes, on the other hand, symbolized the setbacks—the painful tightening and occasional discomfort.

Throughout the game, Sarah and Lily shared stories about their orthodontic journeys. Lily spoke of the initial discomfort and how she had gradually grown accustomed to it. She shared tips and tricks, like using dental wax to soothe irritated gums and embracing colorful rubber bands to make the braces more fun.

As Sarah listened, she began to see her braces in a different light. They were not a hindrance but a stepping stone to the smile she had always wanted. Inspired by Lily's confidence, she felt a renewed sense of determination.

Days turned into weeks, and Sarah's perspective shifted. She no longer saw her braces as an obstacle but as a reminder of her commitment to self-improvement. The teasing from her friends bothered her less, and she even started to embrace her "Metal Mouth" nickname, owning it with a sense of humor.

With each visit to the orthodontist, Sarah felt a sense of progress. Her teeth were shifting, slowly but surely, into alignment. The discomfort and occasional pain became more manageable, and she became adept at caring for her braces. She even started experimenting with different colored bands, turning her braces into a fashion statement.

As Sarah's treatment progressed, her confidence soared. She no longer shied away from social gatherings or smiled timidly to hide her braces. Instead, she beamed with pride, knowing that her braces were a testament to her resilience and commitment to personal growth.

One sunny afternoon, Sarah found herself back at the park where she had first met Lily. They sat on a bench, chatting and laughing, their braces glistening in the sunlight. Sarah reflected on her journey—the highs and lows, the moments of doubt and the newfound self-assurance.

"You know, Lily," Sarah said,

 her voice filled with gratitude, "I used to see braces as a burden. But now, they feel like a badge of honor—a symbol of my strength and determination."

Lily smiled, her braces gleaming. "I'm glad I could help you see that, Sarah. Embracing our journey and the obstacles we face is what makes us stronger."

As Sarah looked at her reflection in the park's pond, she saw not just the braces but a reflection of resilience and growth. The game of Snakes and Ladders had taught her that life was a series of ups and downs, but it was how she navigated those challenges that defined her.

With newfound confidence, Sarah stood up, ready to face the world. She no longer saw her braces as a burden but as a reminder of her own strength and the beautiful smile that awaited her at the end of this journey.

THE END























Written by xxxforce ChatGPT (Sorry i cheated  ;) ) But it's still incredible what this tool could generate within seconds... 

Offline Braceface2015

  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1493
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #2 on: 21. May 2023, 00:32:52 AM »
I don't consider what AI programs can do as writing. It is just taking what real writers have done and copying it with a few tweaks to make it seem different. If you actually take what the AI gave you and turn it into a real story, I would enjoy seeing what you come up with.

I'll be honest, I can't write short stories that are worth reading.

Offline Sparky

  • Special Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 2281
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #3 on: 21. May 2023, 03:04:36 AM »
Once I saw that it was chat gpt, I coukd feel thst style ... chat gpt has a very distinct style to it's stories...

Offline TrainTrack

  • Gold Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 193
  • Gender: Female
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #4 on: 21. May 2023, 05:06:48 AM »
I could tell before they said it was by chat gpt. They are all about resilience and growth and it has metaphors that no human would actually use. They hate it, and then they love it by the end, purely because the characters are so optimistic and see the bright side of things when times get bad.

Offline mr_90proof

  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 530
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #5 on: 21. May 2023, 05:27:07 AM »
I have an idea for, what I think, would be a good “snakes and ladder” short story.  I worked it out in my head on the drive home.  But no orthodontia is involved.  Would I be wasting my time to type it out here?

Offline anton08

  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 303
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #6 on: 21. May 2023, 09:04:04 AM »
ChatGPT adds a lot of rubbish and fake to our times, so it matches them. So sad!  :(

Offline xxxforce

  • Special Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 919
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #7 on: 21. May 2023, 11:21:33 AM »
I personally never used ChatGPT before, this was just an opportunity to test it for me.
I prefer myself human-written storys, because they're absolutely more lively.
There are many Pro's And cons to it, but still it's quite interesting what this tool could do.


Offline Sparky

  • Special Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 2281
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #8 on: 21. May 2023, 16:16:39 PM »
I have an idea for, what I think, would be a good “snakes and ladder” short story.  I worked it out in my head on the drive home.  But no orthodontia is involved.  Would I be wasting my time to type it out here?

It's only a short story, so yeah, go for it!!!! I don't remember a rule that all postings / stories must include braces!!! :-)

Offline Cassandra

  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 99
  • Gender: Female
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #9 on: 21. May 2023, 17:01:04 PM »
Short stories do not come easily to me! They take longer to plan and work out than the long ones, at least when I do it!

Snakes and ladders… I guess this is the same as chutes and ladders? So, it’s a race, but the winner wins purely by chance. I can see finding a way to make this about braces :) I’d love to read what others come up with, though. I’ve been fairly short on creative energy more recently but I’d be happy to cheer everyone else on <3

Offline Sparky

  • Special Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 2281
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #10 on: 21. May 2023, 18:15:34 PM »
Yup, it seems so:

https://dereferer.me/?https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/who-invented-the-board-game-snakes-and-ladders/articleshow/3585003.cms

also: https://dereferer.me/?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snakes_and_ladders

"The most widely known edition of snakes and ladders in the United States is Chutes and Ladders, released by Milton Bradley in 1943. The playground setting replaced the snakes, which were disliked by children at the time."

(and you thought that sort of thing was a 2020's thing?)

Offline Braceface2015

  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1493
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....Snakes And Ladders #1
« Reply #11 on: 22. May 2023, 18:50:36 PM »
Okay, here is my attempt to write a short story using Sparky's rules.

It's around 1000 words and has snakes and ladders as part of the story. Let me know what you think.



Snakes And Ladders

By Braceface2015



My girlfriend sets the box in front of me and says, “Let’s play a game.”

I’ve seen this box or one like it since we were old enough to play board games. This particular box is heavy cardboard and was printed before I was born or at least it seems like it. The box has been sitting in the cupboard along with all the other games at my Grandparent's cabin since it was built.

We’ve known each other since she moved into the house next door before we started school. She’s always had a competitive attitude and we’ve had fun almost every day competing in some way, whether it was who could eat the most crackers without drinking something or who could stare without blinking the longest. This is just another example of the competition.

It’s just a simple game of ‘snakes and ladders’, but we always find ways to make our competitions more fun. I say, “Okay, what do I get when I win?”

She grins, her braces flashing in the dim light from the lamps. “You get to ask me one question, and no matter what it is, I have to answer completely honestly.”

I smile at her, and my lips slide over my new braces. The braces are the result of another bet we made. The look of her teeth has bothered her all her life and she has finally been able to do something about them. We both work for the same company and the health insurance plan has an orthodontic clause which reduces the total cost of the treatment, but it only covers the cheapest style of braces and only at a few clinics.

I won’t say she cheated when we made the bet, but I found out she heavily stacked the odds in her favour without telling me. She won and I had to get braces at the same time she did, and I have to keep mine as long as she has hers. It hasn’t been as bad as I expected it to be. She did reward me for going through with getting the braces by kissing me, repeatedly and with enthusiasm, as soon as we could find a secluded spot after getting them on.

As she sets up the board for the game, she adds an interesting twist. “Every time you land on a snake, you have to put one set of elastics on. If you land on a ladder, you can take one set off. The game doesn’t just end when one of us lands on the ‘finish’, if they have elastics on, they have to go back ten spaces for each elastic and continue.”

I’m not sure how she is stacking the odds in her favour, but there has to be a way she is doing it. Just like all the games in the cupboard, pieces have been lost and replaced by others, and the dice are no exception. She hands me one set and takes the other. We even have to compete to see who goes first, and a best-of-three game of ‘rock, paper, scissors’ decides she is first.

I’m the first one to land on a snake and she hands me a bright orange pair of elastics to connect between my canines. We stay pretty even for a while, and she ends up with purple, pink, green and yellow elastics scattered throughout her mouth. I have her run them across the front of her teeth in an X pattern to stop her from opening her mouth. She retaliates by having me do a box shape on both sides, effectively doubling the force of the elastics and stopping me from moving my jaws apart.

She’s the first one to land on the finish and removes one set of elastics. It takes her back to a snake and she has to put them back on. It takes me a while to get the right combination of dice to land on the finish and I remove two sets of elastics and land on a ladder, so I can remove another set of elastics.

She lands on a ladder, and she does something I didn’t know she can do. She uses her tongue to remove the elastics instead of her fingers. My mouth would drop open if it could, but I have a set of elastics holding my teeth together. She’s not done just yet. She rolls her dice and lands on the ‘finish’ square again. She only has one set of elastics left, and that means she is going to land on the snake again, so she runs her tongue over the elastics and moves her piece to the bottom of the snake.

I land on a ladder, which means I can remove my last set of elastics. On the next roll, I have the right combination and land on the ‘finish’ square. It’s nice to win the game, but my girlfriend isn’t ready to concede defeat just yet. She moves beside me and pulls my face to hers, then kisses me. Her tongue snakes into mine and I get lost in the kiss. Her hands go behind my head and she gets vigorous with her tongue, snaking back and forth between our mouths.

I laugh as she pulls back slightly. I have one set of elastics on my canines, and there is another set connecting us together. The opportunity is too good to miss, and I pull her onto my lap and kiss her back. She won’t let me get my fingers between us to remove the elastics joining us, so I have to wait until her magic tongue disconnects us.

She moves my piece back to the snake and hands me the elastics she removed.

I get a chance to say, “That’s cheating you know, I removed all my elastics before you did and finished the game.”

She smiles at me, her braces sparkling in the lamplight and the elastics across her mouth glistening with the moisture left from our kiss. “Is that the question you want me to answer?”

I return her smile, my lips catching on the edges of the brackets I so recently received. “Actually, no. I have a better question for you. Will you marry me?”

Her smile gets bigger and her eyes begin to sparkle as tears form in the corners of her eyes. Instead of answering me with words, she puts her face against mine again and uses her tongue to connect our mouths together with the elastics remaining on our teeth.

Offline Charlie0186

  • Bronce Member
  • **
  • Posts: 74
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #12 on: 22. May 2023, 21:28:56 PM »
Takiing up Sparky's challenge, I offer version 1.0 of a story entitled "Melissa":

MELISSA

Myths develop like pearls.  A story becomes embellished with each retelling, until it no longer resembles the speck of grit that started it all.  So it is with my myth too.  Perhaps more so because mine had already matured, and even fragmented into different versions, many generations ago.

My childhood could hardly have been happier or more fortunate.
As the youngest of three sisters, and something of a late lamb, my every whim was more than satisfied.  That's what everyone said, anyway, and I have no reason to doubt it.  I was certainly doted on.

Dad ran a shipping company.  Literally -- Gordon Shipping.  His wharfside office provided endless opportunities for a pretty little girl with a mop of unruly red hair to play hide-and-seek, to splash paint onto crates, or to help fishermen mend their nets and baskets whenever I wasn't in school.  We had a house with a garden not far away from the docs, but I loved being fussed over by his many clerks and assistants too much to spend much time at home.

I was twelve when Mr Novotny first strode into the office as though he owned the business.  Finely tailored clothes advertised his wealth, and that he hadn't inherited it.  Arms like thighs waved hands like paddles that flexed fingers that looked like wrinkle sausages from working hard for every penny.  More than a few of those pennies had been traded for the gold hoops that weighed down his earlobes and the chains tangled in the the coarse hair that sprouted from somewhere below his collar.  The rest of his hair, with one exception, would have dripped pomade if he'd spent too long under a hot sun.  Inky eyes noticed nobody between him and the stairs leading to the mezzanine balcony.  Two leaps and as many hauls brought him to the top, to Dad's desk, onto which he flung a banker's note as if it were a sack of gold coin.  Everyone downstairs suddenly had work to do.

It was the same every time he darkened the doorway to do business with Dad.  Until I was thirteen.  Those black pits of eyes spotted me, reading in a coil of hawsers.  Those boots tacked away from the office.  Those terrifying hand plucked me out of my nest while making it clear that I wasn't being asked to comply.

I stopped feeling pretty after that.  That's the first gritty grain of truth in the tale.  I resisted becoming a young lady.  I resisted the well-intentioned ministrations of my sisters who were themselves perfecting those arts.  My hair resisted their efforts to brush out the tangles until it was clear that my curls could never be restored to their former glory.  My braids were left to mat.  My skin sallowed until even my pimples had pimples.  My smile vanished as my eyes darkened and my teeth grew ever more crooked.  Despite their and Mom's best efforts, if I absolutely had to attend my first ball, would be in a frock of mousy velvet and leathery wings rather than in a froth of white lace.
I looked cadaverous, and I preferred it that way.

Percival was the last person to whom my family would have turned in search of a miracle.  I'd been lectured, blessed, incanted and prayed over, bled, prodded and poked.  I'd seen shamans, druids, herbalists, apothecaries, surgeons, physicians witches and even a priest to exorcise my demons.  Vile potions, acrid smoke, icy water, leeches.  Mom baulked at the idea of trephination, but nothing else had achieved the results they all prayed for.  I'd turned into a fang-toothed hobgoblin, and it seemed that nothing and nobody could turn me into their beautiful daughter and sister again.

I actually burst out laughing when he rapped on the door.  He looked barely older than I was, twice my height, half my weight and clinging to his ornate walking staff to avoid being blown away by the breeze flapping his trouser legs.  He looked ridiculously adorable with his skew-whiff hat, skew-whiff glasses and skew-whiff tie at his collar that looked several sizes too big.  We got on immediately.  He was as antithetical to machismo as I was to femininity.  I was wrong about that, but it was the only reason I gave him the time of day.

He liked Dad.  Not only in the way that one likes a wealthy prospective customer.  It was that Dad pronounced his surname correctly immediately after seeing it printed on his calling card.  Asklepiades.  Probably only because Dad had several Greek clients.  But, as sceptical and even cynical as everyone had become this time, and in light of my appearing less resistant than usual, Percy accompanied me and Mom upstairs for an examination.

"Helping you to regain your confidence will take time," he said when we'd all reconvened downstairs again to hear what he had to say.  This was generally a source of entertainment for the family and anyone else who happened to be visiting at the time, but Percy was the first healer who had ever addressed me rather than the person he'd hoped would pay him.  "If you'll allow me, there are several things I can do, but it will mostly be time that will do the work while we're busy."
"What will it cost?" Dad asked.
"A dance, but only when we've finished," Percy responded as I thrilled at the idea.  "Do you have a scarf, or maybe a wig?  We'll have to start by cutting those elflocks of yours.  Your hair is such a pretty colour.  And you have such a lovely smile."
"With teeth like that?" Mom said.  "I"m sorry, honey."  It was true, though.  On a scale of one to vampire, my fangs were well beyond werewolf.
"They don't have to look like that forever, Mrs Gordon.  It's not as though they're set in stone.  We know that bone is alive because it can heal after being broken.  Perhaps it can be moulded as well."

It did take time.  Lots of time.  My skin healed first, most likely as a result of long walks with Percy.  They'd started out chaperoned by one or other of my sisters, but they soon had better things to do.  I looked rather unappealing anyway, with a knitted hat over my bum-fluff and the bronze framework in my mouth that was gradually pushing and pulling my teeth into position.  Kissing would certainly be awkward, but everyone was sure I'd be able to shout if I needed to.  I was the only one who was sure I wouldn't need to.  It did take a long time, and it was painful, but eventually it was apparent that the metalwork he'd so painstakingly fashioned and then repeated refashioned was doing its job.  He'd been correct in his assumptions, and my teeth were looking better.  At least whenever he removed the framework to make some adjustment.

Percy earned far more than a dance.  He's the love of my life, and afterlife.  And we both laugh at the myth.  There never was a bronze mirror.  Unlike most men, and despite my best efforts, he was never afraid to look at me, and to see the vulnerable young girl behind the mask she'd created.  My head remained firmly on my neck.  All he took to show others were sketches as he brought my fangs into alignment with the rest of my teeth.  By then, my snake-like elflocks had long-since been consigned to the fire.  I never did regain the spectacular fiery curls of my youth, but I did have a lovely strawberry-blonde mane until it faded into whiteness as we aged.  Percy never minded that.  By then, he'd begun to rely on his staff to get around.  We'd had a similar one made for me, although the spiral on mine was never as clearly defined as the snake that climbed his.

Oh, and as for my name -- it's Melissa, although the myth probably does fairly reflect my mumbling through pursed lips and crooked teeth before Percy saved me.  Yes, he killed Medusa, but we still live happily ever after.

Offline Braceface2015

  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1493
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #13 on: 23. May 2023, 01:48:14 AM »
I like the ancient setting of the story. Having the braces handmade and adjusted by someone not specifically trained is a nice touch.

Offline Charlie0186

  • Bronce Member
  • **
  • Posts: 74
  • Gender: Male
Re: Calling all writers....
« Reply #14 on: 23. May 2023, 11:11:42 AM »
I like the ancient setting of the story. Having the braces handmade and adjusted by someone not specifically trained is a nice touch.

Thank you.  I had to try long and hard to come up with something that would come close to Sparky's wonderfully quirky storytelling.

I like the detail in your story too, and I'm a sucker for a squishy ending.